


mind your heart

by HoneyMel



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Demisexuality, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Injuries, Rating May Change, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, author might be projecting onto jisung, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyMel/pseuds/HoneyMel
Summary: Jisung keeps running into things. What he doesn't expect is to get more than a bump on his forehead in the process.or: the one where Jisung is a bit distracted and Hyunjin is somehow always around to help.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 41
Kudos: 117





	1. six minutes

**Author's Note:**

> i've had this one in my mind for quite some time, so i'm happy to finally be posting it!!
> 
> just a quick warning, this chapter contains minor injuries (very minor really) and mentions of blood. nothing too serious, but be careful if this is something that makes you uncomfortable. 
> 
> and also please ignore the probably inaccurate representations of injury throughout this work, let's all just make a joint effort and pretend for the sake of love !

Jisung should have seen this coming. Really, it’s a miracle it hasn’t happened before, all things considered. Although Jisung likes to think he’s a focused and observant person, during the morning — when he’s walking to class after having woken up literally ten minutes ago — things are a bit different. Throughout the entire fifteen-minute walk from his apartment to the university campus, Jisung’s still half-asleep brain can only focus on one thing: music.  _ Loud  _ music coming from his noise-canceling AirPods and making the rest of the world seem like a blurry mess in the process. He’s always trusted his subconscious survival instincts enough to keep him alive and muscle memory to take him wherever he needs to be. 

So it was only a matter of time until he ran headfirst into a lamppost. 

“Ow!” Jisung yelps the moment his forehead bumps into the metal pole, the impact hard enough to knock him down, making the contents of his bag — which was admittedly not all the way closed — spill all over the sidewalk. Somewhere along the one second it took from the bumping to him being ass-flat on the concrete floor, his AirPods fell from his ears — the lack of music making that horrible new reality much more obvious than Jisung would’ve liked. He is fully awake, now.

Jisung  _ knows  _ deep down that it was truly a matter of time until something like this happened to him, but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing.

Just as he is getting up on his knees to reassemble his things and get as far away from that damn pole as possible (and also pretend nothing’s happened for the rest of his life), he hears a gasp from behind him and then, before he can process it, Jisung is face to face with a man who seemingly appeared out of nowhere and is now crouched right in front of him with a worried expression on his face. “Oh my god, are you alright?”

Jisung feels mortification start running cold through his body, making him immediately freeze. Not only did he make a fool of himself by running into a lamppost, but somehow he managed to  _ also  _ have another human being witnessing it.  _ Great _ . 

“Uhh,” he starts, still a bit unsure of what is going on and how to respond. How come he was waking the same path he’s walked every day for the past two years, sure that things would go smoothly like they always did and then one moment later he’s on the floor, forehead throbbing and with the addition of a stranger looking at him as if he’s sure Jisung’s brain has suffered some damage from the bump? How does one cope with that when not even a whole minute has passed since? 

He notices that his hesitance, though, seems to make the stranger’s expression even more worried, his frown deepening considerably so. So before that man decides to call an ambulance or something, Jisung clears his throat. “Um. Yeah, I’m alright.”

To Jisung’s relief, that seems enough to make the stranger visibly relax. “Well, as someone who’s also had the misfortune of running into a lamppost myself, I’m really glad you’re alright.” He then offers Jisung a small smile before continuing, “But I do have to tell you that your forehead is bleeding a bit.”

Jisung automatically raises one hand to touch the sore spot on his forehead and yup. Unsurprisingly it is bleeding a bit just like the stranger had informed him.

Although the situation itself is far from okay, once Jisung notices that the guy isn’t there to mock or ridicule him and is actively trying to genuinely help, he can’t help but feel relaxed enough to reciprocate the smile. See, he’s perfectly capable of being nice to strangers. Take that, Changbin-hyung. 

“It’s fine, I’ll just drop by a restroom on campus and clean it up.” 

But before Jisung could gather his things from the floor, thank the stranger for his assistance and go on his merry way, he notices that the boy suddenly has his own open bag in front of him, from which he takes what seems to be a mini first aid kit. 

“Lucky for you, I can help with that,” he says with a smile and then takes from the kit a small box — which reveals a spray medicine. “It’s an antiseptic spray,” he explains. And then, with a clinical expression that’s all business, he gets a round cotton pad from his bag and sprays the medicine on it.

You see, it's an understatement to say the whole situation is odd; they are both sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, Jisung’s things are spread all over, and people are constantly passing by, undoubtedly finding that situation very,  _ very  _ weird. And although Jisung’s rational side of his brain should be worried that he is about to let a complete stranger dab something onto his wounded forehead, he is extremely taken aback, feeling as if he can do nothing but gape at the guy with a mix of curiosity and awe while he soaks the cotton pad with the medicine, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and the tip of his tongue slightly peeping out.

Jisung uses this moment as an opportunity to take a look at the stranger for the first time. They seem to be the same age, the other guy appearing to be just a bit taller than him (just a teeny tiny bit, okay?). He has chin-length bleached hair that is up in a half-ponytail. Jisung is absolutely positive he has never seen him around before. From a critical standpoint, he has to say the guy is very pretty, with tiny eyes and plump lips.

Once the stranger’s done with soaking the cotton pad, he lifts it toward Jisung’s forehead and asks, “Can I?” 

Still stunned, Jisung blinks twice and dumbly nods ( _ what else could he do? _ ) and soon enough he feels fingers gently sweeping his bangs to the side and is then promptly greeted with the burning sensation of the antiseptic acting onto his wound. After dabbing and sweeping the cotton pad for a while, the stranger seems to determine he is done, wrapping the used cotton piece with a tissue and putting it inside his bag. And with that he opens the second box he has with him, revealing band-aids this time.  _ Doraemon  _ band-aids. 

Jisung decides right then and there that nothing more unusual has ever happened in his life before. Not even when he and Changbin-hyung had tried making pancakes and somehow managed to have the batter glued to the ceiling of their shared apartment for a week. Definitely not even when he came face to face with his own doppelgänger while on vacation in Argentina at the age of thirteen. It doesn’t even come  _ close _ . 

While the stranger’s opening the band-aid package, Jisung figures he should say something to fill in the silence. Something nice, preferably, to ease the inevitable awkwardness of this whole situation. “Is this something you usually do?” He ends up asking and immediately cringes.

The man shifts his attention from the band-aid to Jisung’s eyes for a second and laughs. “What, offer first aid help to someone who just knocked themselves onto a lamppost?” He raises his eyebrows and Jisung nods. In his defense (and in defense of his dumb comment), it  _ does  _ seem like that was in fact something he did on a regular basis, considering he’s acting as if this is just a normal Tuesday morning. “Can’t say I’ve ever done this before, so you’re my lucky first.” 

_ Huh _ . “Then I’m honored,” Jisung replies good-naturedly. 

When the stranger signals he has the band-aid ready, Jisung pulls back his bangs this time to make it easier for him, and the guy quickly places it over the cut. Once he’s done and Jisung lets his bangs down, the stranger says, “Ok, now let me just-” And next thing Jisung knows the stranger is arranging his hair — most likely to try and find a way to cover the Doraemon band-aid, he assumes. Although the action is very methodical and impersonal — just the guy trying to finish his job and make sure Jisung doesn’t walk away looking ridiculous — Jisung can’t stop himself from feeling his ears heating up at the touch. After all, he is  _ not  _ used to strangers patting his hair out of nowhere. 

He tries to cough as a way to hide his embarrassment, but it only seems to make the stranger aware of it in the first place. His hands stop moving, and he quickly draws them away, averting his eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just wanted to-”

Jisung quickly shakes his head and stops the guy before he can continue. “No, it’s fine! Really, you helped a lot, like, a  _ lot _ ,” he chuckles. Weird and unusual? Yes, but also very helpful and kind in a way Jisung has never seen done before. “I don’t even know how to thank you enough,” he finishes. 

The stranger smiles brightly at him. “Well, at least you won’t have to go around with Doraemon blatantly visible in your forehead,” he giggles. Actually  _ giggles _ . Jisung can only stare. “And you don’t have to thank me, it was no problem at all.”

Sensing Jisung’s about to fight him on that one and make sure he understands the fact that what he did was far from nothing and deserves an absurd amount of thanks, he promptly says, “Now let me help you organize your things.”

And soon enough Jisung has his things back inside his bag — which is now very much closed — and they are both standing up. He absentmindedly checks his wristwatch and sees that this whole affair that seemed to last  _ at least _ an hour in Jisung’s head actually lasted for about six measly minutes. He will never understand the concept of time.

“Just one last time before you go, thank you very much for your help,” Jisung says as the stranger is about to walk away. “Really, at first I was super ashamed to be caught in such an embarrassing position, but you ended up making me feel less awful about it, so. Thank you.” 

The stranger gives him a two-finger salute and smiles. He has a pretty smile, Jisung has to acknowledge it — the type of smile that makes his eyes look like tiny crescents and his whole face light up. Jisung feels like smiling as well just by looking at it. “I’m happy to help! Just be careful from now on, okay?” Jisung nods, still quite taken aback, honestly, and the stranger walks away, disappearing almost as if he was never there in the first place. 

What a crazy morning.

* * *

Later that day, when Jisung finally gets back home from his afternoon classes, the first thing Changbin notices when he walks in is the Doraemon band-aid on his forehead. Of course. 

“Do you want the short version or the long version?” He asks with a sigh when Changbin inevitably wants to know what happened. 

“Short version.”

Jisung mentally prepares himself for the intense teasing that’s about to happen to him soon. “I was walking to class, bumped into a lamppost, a guy appeared out of nowhere and offered first aid assistance.”

To say Changbin laughed is an understatement. He laughed so hard that he had to sit down. “Oh man, why am I even surprised,” he wheezes hysterically. “And the guy just pulled a first aid kit right from his ass like he’s on The Sims? And straight up put a Doraemon band-aid on your forehead? Out of nowhere?” 

“Well, he cleaned the wound first,” Jisung says, also sitting down next to Changbin and dropping his head in his hands. Changbin laughs even harder at that. 

After the laughter eventually ceases, Changbin offers to order takeout for the both of them. They spend the rest of the night eating cheap pizza and watching the next National Geographic’s documentary in Jisung’s to-watch list (one about deep-sea creatures). As the hours pass by and Jisung gets more and more tired, the foggier the events of that day become. The only thing in his mind (aside from how absolutely terrifying the Fangtooth fish are) is the promise of his warm bed.

It is only right before he closes his eyes to sleep that Jisung realizes he hadn’t even asked for the stranger’s name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof so there it is, the birth of my first hyunsung baby. i have two more chapters ready, so you can expect those to be posted real soon!
> 
> and as always, kudos and comments are very much welcome!
> 
> [16/11: minor editing done to chapter 1]


	2. mind your head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as the last chapter, this one also has a warning for brief descriptions of injury, but nothing too detailed

They meet again only three days after the lamppost incident, although, much to Jisung’s chagrin, under similar circumstances. 

He’s coming back home after his Friday classes are done with quite a pleased expression on his face (this time actually being mindful of nearby lampposts). His Music Composition professor had liked the demo he produced for the first assignment of the semester, claiming it was “extremely professional and fitting for being released as a recorded track in the future, perhaps”. While Jisung knows he still has a long way to go when it comes to producing, many aspects still to be improved, having such a well-respected professor complimenting his work is everything he needs to make him feel like the happiest and most confident person in the world. Added to that, after having started to make music with his two best friends and forming 3RACHA (the name of their producing group), he’s been constantly getting positive feedback from their few listeners. That by itself is enough of a confidence boost.

So it’s safe to say he is on cloud nine, giddy with excitement and feeling as if he can vibrate from pure elation. 

When Jisung arrives at his apartment complex he quickly notices a note on the elevator announcing that it is out of order. Well, quite a bummer actually, but not enough to make him any less excited. Three flights of stairs wouldn’t kill him. The exercise would for sure do him good.

Or so he thought. 

In hindsight, what he failed to take into consideration was the fact that for some fucked up reason the ceiling right at the top of the stairs of his apartment is way lower than it should be (a true engineering sacrilege), lower enough to offer someone like him — who admittedly isn’t very tall — a potential danger. And that’s exactly what happens. 

While walking up the stairs he gets his phone from his front pocket and starts typing out a message to Chan-hyung, eager to tell him the good news and ask him if they can meet later that night to celebrate. He hears some noise from behind him that indicates someone’s there but thinks nothing of it. Of course, he wouldn’t be the only one using the stairs at such a big apartment complex filled with college students to the brim.

Almost reaching his final destination, Jisung pockets his phone back after successfully typing his text message, and right at _that_ moment, due to a poorly calculated movement, he raises his head just a bit too soon and a second later he feels pain shooting through his head.

“Oh fuck!” He exclaims. Having been caught off guard, Jisung loses balance for a second, flailing his arms desperately in hopes of not falling down the stairs. He sees his life flashing through his mind, sure he’s about to fall to his death. But for some reason, the fall doesn’t happen — a second later he recognizes the feeling of hands pressed on his shoulder stabilizing him and preventing the worst from happening. His heart’s beating like crazy in his chest. That was a close one. 

Then comes a voice. “Woah man, you almost scared me to death! Are you alright?”

Jisung freezes with dread. He recognizes that voice. That can’t be it. _Right?_ He slowly turns to face the person who just saved him and there it is. The same guy who put a fucking Doraemon band-aid on his forehead just a few days ago. 

The guy seems to recognize him as well, raising two incredulous eyebrows. “I can’t believe it’s you again?” He says, not a question but not exactly an affirmation either. He appears to be as confused as Jisung (relatable as fuck, as Jeongin would say). Honestly, what even are the odds? 

Clutching his throbbing forehead with one hand, Jisung gives him an embarrassed chuckle, “Yup, that’s me I guess.”

The stranger stares at him. “ _Dude_ , I can’t believe you just knocked your head into a mind your head sign. How did you even manage to do this?”

The words don’t make sense to him at first, so he quizzically glances back and- yes there it is — all fluorescent yellow and _clearly_ visible, the ‘MIND YOUR HEAD’ sign seems to be mocking him. He quickly turns away from it, not wanting to see the damn thing anymore. Apparently, he _couldn’t_ mind his head. 

Turning back his attention to the stranger, Jisung shrugs meekly. What else can he do? He’s not prepared at all to deal with… _this_ . His soul has not yet returned fully back to his body after him almost fucking _dying_ and the ridiculousness of the current situation does not make any sense whatsoever. 

And then a sobering thought hits him. Why is that same stranger once more conveniently behind him and this time right at the place he lives? “Um, are you perhaps following me?” Jisung asks with a frown. The guy doesn’t seem to be a creep, but one never knows.

The stranger narrows his eyes at him. “I literally live here,” he deadpans, not amused at all. 

Jisung realizes the guy must have recently moved in, then, considering he’s never seen him around the building before. He raises the hand that isn't clutching his forehead in the universal ‘whoa there, I’m sorry’ gesture — which probably looks very pathetic, all considered. “Just making sure. It’s just too much of a weird coincidence, that’s it.”

At that, the stranger's features soften. “It’s alright I get it. I’m pretty sure I’d think the same if I were in your position, so no hard feelings.”

Not knowing what else to say and honestly just wanting to go, Jisung starts, “Uhh, I should get going. Thank you for helping me,” he says and then adds, for good measure, “Again.”

“Wait, I don’t have my first aid kit with me right now, but if you come with me to my apartment I can clean that up for you,” he needlessly points at Jisung’s forehead. 

Jisung shakes his head quickly, prompting a fresh wave of pain to hit him and make him flinch. “It’s okay, I can do it myself this time,” he tries to smile but it probably looks like a grimace. He values his pride very much, so there’s no way he’d let the same stranger clean his wounds twice the same week. Absolutely not. “I appreciate it, though,” he finishes. 

“If you say so…” the stranger drawls. “But for real, you should seriously start paying more attention to where you’re going. We can’t keep meeting like this,” he laughs. “I honestly don’t think your poor forehead can take any more damage.”

Jisung chuckles. He doesn’t even understand how he can feel so at ease in a situation so deeply embarrassing. Being naturally an introvert and shy, it isn’t easy at all for him to feel comfortable around people he doesn’t know, even more in such a vulnerable situation. Perhaps sharing incidents with a complete stranger somehow made things easier, he thinks, almost like a mutual comprehension has been established between them. As if he doesn’t have to try hard to make a good first impression because he already made a fool of himself twice in front of him and it doesn’t seem to matter. Jisung assumes that if the guy hasn’t mocked or made fun of him yet, he probably won’t do it after all. The open gentleness and the smiles that the guy freely offers probably help, too.

“Will do. See you around,” he says and, with a grin that he has no idea where it came from, he adds, “Hopefully under different circumstances.” And then he leaves (he remembers to lower his head this time, thank god), once out of sight and out of danger pretty much running to his apartment door.

* * *

Changbin finds Jisung five minutes later sitting on the bathroom floor and facing a portable mirror he had placed on top of the toilet lid. Jisung has with him their improv first aid kit — which consists of a box of (regular) band-aids and an antiseptic spray that expired a year ago — but all he can do is stare at the horrible, swollen bump in his forehead. 

You see, his face is still in the process of recovering from three days ago and is still very much sensitive to the touch. Now add another contusion on top of that and you have a purplish-green-swollen mess that hurts a _lot_. And knowing how bad it would sting to spray the antiseptic on the bruise made him lose the courage to do it once and for all two minutes ago. So staring at himself in the mirror it is. 

“What are you doing?” 

Jisung groans and lowers his head. “Aaargh, I don’t want to talk about it, hyung. Let’s just pretend you didn’t see me here,” he pleads.

“And waste an opportunity to tease you? No way,” Changbin says, walking inside the bathroom and towards Jisung. “Now let me see it.”

With a sigh, Jisung raises his head and faces his friend, who immediately has a taken aback expression on his face. “Damn that’s nasty. How did you even manage to do this again?” Changbin asks while proceeding to sit beside him on the floor. “ _Please_ don’t tell me it was a lamppost this time.”

And with the neutrality of someone who just can’t be phased anymore, he says, “Nah, it was a ‘mind your head’ sign. Almost fell down the stairs.”

Changbin blinks at him a total amount of three times before bursting into laughter. “Oh my god man, twice in the same week how is this even possible?” Jisung’s glad that at least his recurrent misfortune is bringing joy to others. Yay!

He shrugs with a smug expression on his face, acting as if bumping into things is an extraordinary thing. “You know how I am, I have my talents.”

After the laughter ceases and fades into something more thoughtful, Changbin starts, “As funny as this is, I have to ask you. Is everything alright?” His voice now has a more serious tone to it. “Is there something in your mind that’s making you distracted? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Jisung smiles and feels a warmth spreading through his chest. Changbin is always quick to tease and bother him over anything, but he also has an incredibly gentle and caring side that Jisung would never get tired of seeing. He is once again immensely grateful for finding Changbin’s number in the enormous list of undergrad students who were looking for someone to share an apartment with; he also feels greatly lucky to have had Changbin as his first friend after coming back to Seoul from Malaysia and to continue being his friend after all this time. “Nothing’s going on, I promise. I guess I’m just especially unlucky this week.”

“Alright, then,” Changbin says after a moment of staring at him with narrowed eyes, trying to see if Jisung is lying. And with the usual voice he uses when he tries to be cute (a very debatable term in Jisung’s opinion), he continues, “Now let hyungie take care of you ouchies, yes?” 

Jisung rolls his eyes but hands him the first aid kit anyway. Barely looking at it, Changbin quickly gets up and grabs something from the cabinet on top of the sink — a piece of cotton, Jisung sees — alongside a hand towel that was sitting on top of the counter. He then waters the cotton a bit and squirts some liquid soap on top of it. “I’m not putting that shit on your forehead,” he points at the first aid kit as a clarification, probably meaning the expired medicine. Good call, Jisung thinks. 

Sitting down again, Changbin wastes no time in cleaning Jisung’s wound. The soap doesn’t sting as the antiseptic would, but that does not stop him from whining loudly just to annoy his friend. 

After he’s done, Changbin throws the piece of cotton away and gets the hand towel, dabbing it on Jisung’s face to dry it. 

Just as he’s getting the band-aid from the box, Changbin starts with a smug smirk, “There was no charming prince to save you this time, huh?” 

At those words, Jisung stops. His brain conveniently forgot one more time about the rest of the story for a moment, and the absurdity of it is once again catching up to him. “Hyung, would you believe me if I told you the same guy from last time actually lives here and somehow was behind me in the stairs and saved me from falling?”

“ _What?!_ ”

“Crazy right? I even thought he was following me, but apparently, it's all just a big coincidence.”

“You’re bullshitting me.” 

“How could I bullshit about this?! Honestly, this is way too ridiculous even to _my_ standards.”

Changbin contemplates it for a second. “Okay, I have to agree with you. But anyway, what’s his name? If he lives here I might know him.”

And then Jisung realizes he _still_ hasn’t asked for the guy’s name. And to think he thought for a moment that he was making significant social progress. “Erm, funny you mention that,” he says with a forced laugh. Changbin raises his eyebrows. “I actually haven’t come around to asking his name, you know, because of me being _injured_ and stuff at the time. But if you think about it, he also hasn’t asked for my name, which makes him as socially inept as-”

“Whatever you say, Jisungie,” Changbin interrupts him and slaps a band-aid on Jisung’s forehead, quickly getting up afterward. 

“ _Ow_ hyung,” Jisung fake cries. “You’re attacking a man who’s already down, huh? What an insensitive man you are.”

Changbin sticks out his tongue in response and promptly leaves the bathroom. At times like this Jisung’s amazed at how _Changbin’s_ the oldest of the two of them. A true wonder, really.

Following suit, Jisung spots Changbin sitting on their couch and goes to sit beside him. He remembers then the good news he was so excited to tell his friends about. So he tells all about it to Changbin.

His friend’s initial response is to grin at him and excitedly pat his hair, which makes him groan in annoyance (Jisung would rather _die_ than to admit he likes being patted). “I mean, it’s no surprise at all to me, from the moment you showed me the demo I knew you would get the highest grade,” Changbin says confidently. “But still, I’m very proud of you.” And then he proceeds to pat Jisung’s hair again, cooing at him.

“Gee, thanks hyung,” Jisung says simply with a cough, trying to feign nonchalance and free himself from Changbin’s hands. On the inside, though, he’s jumping around from the praise. What’s he gonna do about it? Jisung absolutely loves getting praised, but he also needs to maintain his cool-guy image after all. Right? Ok, risk that he can’t do it. Jisung drops his cool facade and beams back at Changbin. “But really, thank you.”

After that, they’re both off to do their things. Changbin’s thing consisting of binge-watching some obscure videos he finds on the internet (Jisung has no idea where they come from or what they’re about, and he’s honestly too scared to find out now), and Jisung’s own thing being mindlessly scrolling through his Twitter feed until he gets bored and leaves it only to return exactly 4 seconds later and refresh the timeline, rinse and repeat. He was about to suggest he and Changbin go out to do something when his phone vibrates with a text. 

**channie-hyung ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱ (4:37 p.m)**

very very proud of you !! and good thing we have the perfect opportunity to meet tonight

**channie-hyung ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱ (4:37 p.m)**

felix has a new friend he wants to introduce to us. we’ll be meeting at the maze at 7

**channie-hyung ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱ (4:38 p.m)**

you better be there

**channie-hyung ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱ (4:38 p.m)**

and make sure to drag changbin as well

After texting an affirmative back to Chan, Jisung turns to Changbin (who’s still very much entertained at _something_ on his phone). “Hyung we’re going to the Maze tonight. Felix apparently has a new friend he wants to show us.” 

The Maze in question is a café just off-campus that, as the name suggests, is maze-themed (as in meaning it’s literally a maze); the inside of the place is formed by corridors that lead to corridors that lead to other corridors and so on. The tables are organized (or, better put, _dis_ organized) along the way in a chaotic manner. Very interesting place to be, but _terrible_ to work at, as Minho-hyung would constantly complain _(“Do they think I’m a fucking experiment rat to make me go through this damn maze all day? I’m dizzy all the time! And listen, not even rats deserve this kind of treatment, don’t even get me started on how they’re abused by disgusting men who have no sense of-”)_ and etcetera. Their friend group started going there to offer distressed-Minho moral support, but they all happened to like the place (to Minho’s greater distress), and going there became a tradition. It is usually their go-to place when they want to hang out but aren’t in the mood to go to a club or something. Which appears to be tonight’s case. 

Without taking his attention off the screen of his phone, Changbin shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll just stay here doing nothing.”

“And upset Felix? Damn, Seo Changbin you’re being a heartless man today…”

As expected, that gets a reaction out of him. Changbin slowly lowers his phone and turns to glare at Jisung. “I know exactly what you’re doing, Han Jisung, and it was a _low blow_. Shame on you.”

Jisung raises a defiant eyebrow at his friend, silently challenging him to go on. And of course, he doesn’t. Felix is everyone’s soft spot and just the mere _thought_ of making him upset is enough to make any person who knows him feel like the worst human being in the world. With a defeated sigh, Changbin asks, “When are we going?”

Jisung grins.

* * *

Arriving there, Jisung quickly (well, as quickly as going one corridor straight and two corridors left in a crammed and packed up place can be) spots Chan sitting there by himself at their usual table. Having his back turned away from them, he doesn’t see Jisung and Changbin coming. This offers the golden opportunity for Changbin to silently approach him from behind and slam his hands on Chan’s shoulders.

“Boo!”

Chan, however, doesn’t react as much as placing his phone on the table and turning to face him with a cheeky smile. “Oh, hey there Changbin, Jisung!”

Pouting, Changbin sits on the seat next to Chan. Jisung follows suit and sits on the seat in front of him. “You didn’t get scared?” Changbin asks dejectedly.

“Nah, I know the sound of you guys’ steps. Could hear it clearly.”

Jisung and Changbin both gawk at him. “You’re so weird sometimes, hyung,” Jisung deadpans.

Chan only grins at him. “Anyways, I’m sure I have some congratulations to give you, right?” He gets up from his seat and goes to where Jisung is seated. Then he crouches a bit and hugs Jisung from behind. “I’m very proud of you, little bro.” Before he leaves, though, Chan pats his hair affectionately. (Yes, Jisung is glowing on the inside. And yes, he _might_ have leaned a bit into the touch).

“Thanks, hyung,” he says sheepishly. 

Once back on his seat, Chan starts, “So, Felix just texted me saying that they’re almost here. They got a bit late because Seungmin is, and I quote, at the brick of having a mental breakdown over one of his assignments and cannot leave the house until he gets it finished. Jeongin will stay there with him to make sure Seungmin doesn’t, you know… actually have a mental breakdown. So it’s just gonna be us, Felix and his new friend tonight.”

Jisung doesn't quite follow. “Hyung, what does Felix’s new friend have to do with Seungmin and Jeongin?”

“Oh, I guess you didn’t know. Felix’s new friend is also Seungmin’s old friend from school. He just transferred from wherever he used to study in America and is living with Jeongin and Seungmin. And before you ask, Felix got to know him from his dance classes. They’re the same age. The guy’s a dance major as well.”

Jisung had no idea. Which is absurd, considering they all live in the same apartment complex. 

With a crestfallen expression on his face, he turns to Changbin. “Hyung, did you know about this?” 

Changbin shrugs. “Just knew that Seungmin had a friend who was gonna be moving in soon. Haven't actually seen the guy yet.” 

“Whew.” 

Before he could express just how dumbfounded he is for being the last person to know about this, Jisung sees Chan perking up and waving his hand excitedly in the air, a clear signal that indicates Felix has arrived. He was coming from the opposite way Jisung and Changbin had come (as, you know, the Maze brings different options for coming and going), so Jisung’s back was turned away from his friend. He turns around in his chair with open arms and an “Oi Felix!” ready on the tip of his tongue only to freeze halfway through. 

This can’t be it. 

“Hello, guys!” Felix says enthusiastically, not realizing Jisung is in the middle of going through a Moment of astonishment and gaping like a fish. He also manages to awkwardly squeeze in between Jisung’s still open (albeit a bit wanned) arms, giving him a hug that Jisung can barely reciprocate. 

_What the fuck._

Drawing back and quickly waving at Chan and Changbin, Felix wraps an arm around _that guy’s_ shoulder. He still hasn’t seen Jisung, who’s purposefully lowering his head so he can’t be seen. “Guys this is Hwang Hyunjin! Hyunjin, these are Bang Chan, Seo Changbin, and Han Jisung! Now let’s all become friends!” 

The stranger, _Hyunjin_ apparently, waves at everyone at the table and starts saying something that Jisung doesn’t pay any attention to (he’s too busy pretending to check something _very_ urgent on his phone). It’s only when he decides to man up and raise his head that the other guy stops talking.

With a look of surprise, he says, “Hey it’s _you_ again! What the hell?” And then he starts laughing.

Jisung only stares at him as continues gaping for a while before he joins in and nervously laughs as well. _Indeed_ what the hell. “I guess I shouldn’t even be surprised anymore.”

“Wait, you guys know each other?” Felix asks, still standing up beside Hyunjin.

“Yeah, weren’t you just feeling butthurt for not knowing about him yet?” Changbin asks.

Closing his eyes for a second and sending a prayer to whichever deity that could be hearing him right now, he subtly points to his forehead. “He’s the guy that, you know…” And then he motions at his forehead again for more emphasis. 

After a few seconds of pause Changbin finally gets it. “WHAT?! So _you’re_ prince charming?” He points at Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin coughs and Jisung kicks Changbin hard under the table. Changbin blows him a kiss and kicks him back.

“Oookay, how about we sit down first before listening to Jisung’s explanation of this interesting story,” Felix says and walks towards the other chair beside Chan. Which leaves the only other chair available the one next to Jisung.

“So, prince charming, huh?” Hyunjin asks him as soon as he’s sat down.

Jisung groans and kicks Changbin again for good measure. “I swear to god I never said that. It’s all on Changbin-hyung, so you should be asking _him_ instead.”

“Do you confirm this?” Hyunjin turns to ask Changbin, who only smirks and says, “Can’t neither confirm nor deny.”

“I hate you so much, hyung.” 

“Love you too, Jisungie,” he winks and then blows another kiss. _Disgusting_ . He then hears Hyunjin _giggling_ at that. What’s up with this guy and giggling, huh? So weird. 

Chan clears his throat. “Um, guys. As entertaining as whatever _this_ is, some of us here have no idea what’s going on.”

Next to him, Hyunjin asks, “Do you want to explain it or should I do it?

Dropping his head (carefully) onto the table, Jisung says, “Go for it.” He doesn’t even want to see it. 

“Okay, so what happened is that your friend here has-” Oh no. Absolutely _not_. Jisung abruptly straightens up and cuts him off with a raised finger. Imagine going straight to the point and ignoring Jisung’s main character qualities present in the story, omitting the romanticized aspects of what happened. An absurdity.

“Changed my mind, didn’t like the way you started it. Now _I’ll_ have to do it.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow at him but says nothing. Jisung turns his attention to his friends, who are trying (keyword: _trying_ ) not to laugh. “So. You guys know how busy I am, right? I’m a hardworking man with a lot on his mind so it’s understandable when I say I’ve been just a teeny tiny bit distracted lately. And with distraction comes the possibility of-”

“Just go straight to the point, for god’s sake,” Changbin interrupts.

With a pointed glare at his friend, he continues, “ _As I was saying_ , it is a well-known fact that with distraction comes the possibility of getting yourself in um… _unexpected_ situations.

“Such as…” Chan prompts.

Before he could continue, though, Hyunjin gets there first. “Such as running headfirst into a lamppost. He keeps doing that and for some reason, I’m always around to help.”

Felix immediately bursts into a fit of cackles. “Duuuuude, I didn’t know what to expect of this but I’m not disappointed.”

Jisung frowns. “First: rude. Second,” he points at Hyunjin, “you made it sound like it happened many times. It was only twice.”

“In the same week,” Hyunjin needlessly completes. 

Jisung frowns harder. “And I only bumped into a lamppost _once_ , okay?”

“Yeah, the other time you bumped into a mind your head sign.”

The whole table erupts into laughter. Chan clapping hard, Felix slamming his hand on the table and Changbin sniggering at him. Even _Hyunjin_ was laughing. The _nerve_. He decided then he liked Hyunjin better when he was still a nameless stranger. 

“Oh, this is _gold._ I wish Minho was here as well to witness all this,” Chan says in the middle of still laughing and wiping a stray tear from his eyes.

“I’m starting to think that having these two together is a bit dangerous, Felix,” Changbin offers with a knowing smirk. What does he _even_ think to know?

Jisung is not amused. “Wow guys, apparently today is international Let’s Make Fun of Han Jisung day and I didn’t know.”

Felix pouts and reaches over the table to touch his hand. “Aww, It’s only because we love you, baby.”

_Damn it_. Jisung can’t stay mad at Felix.

When their waves of laughter start growing faint, Jisung feels Hyunjin poking him softly on the shoulder. “Hey,” he asks quietly, “A genuine question now. How’s your forehead? It looked quite nasty earlier.”

Jisung feels like fighting for a second. But then he senses the other guy isn’t mocking him right now. Just like he wasn’t the other times they… met. With a sigh, he says, “It’s alright. It looked worse than it felt.” Kind of a lie, because it looked awful and hurt like fuck. But no one needs to know that.

In response, Hyunjin gives him a soft smile. “I’m glad, then.”

And with that, the subject of his misfortune is put aside. Everyone starts talking about trivial things such as how their classes went, and their plans for the weekend. Jisung kinda tunes out for a moment, until he remembers something. 

“Yo, where _is_ Minho-hyung?” Jisung asks no one in particular after realizing he still hasn’t seen him around.

Chan shrugs. “He came to drop the menus just before you and Changbin got here. Said he’d be back here when he deems it appropriate. Which will probably be in about,” he stops to check his wristwatch, “five minutes, if I know him.” 

And true to Chan’s words, more or less five minutes later Minho makes an appearance at their table. “I hope everyone has their orders ready.” 

Jisung lets out a huge breath. “Hyung where were you when I needed you the most?!” He asks dramatically. “These guys were mocking me so hard.” 

Minho gives him _that_ smile of his that might look innocent on the outside, but Jisung recognizes it as pure trouble. “Knowing you, Hannie, I’m pretty sure the teasing was justified! But you can tell me what that’s about later. Now, the orders,” he clicks his tongue and impatiently taps the little notebook in his hands with a pen. “I’m actually busy here.” 

Everyone already knew what to order (they all ordered the same thing every time, and Minho asked merely for courtesy). Well, everyone _but_ Hyunjin, who’s here for the first time and is taking his sweet time looking at the menu with an overwhelmed expression. 

“Oh, hey there Hyunjin-ah! Haven’t seen you. Not gonna lie, kinda weird seeing you with these guys. Hope they’re treating you good, yes?” Minho says with a smile. 

“Don’t worry, Minho-sunbaenim. I’m being well-treated here.” Hyunjin giggles _again_. 

“No need to be awkward, you can just call me hyung. We’re all friends now.”

_Oh?_ “Wait, how do you two know each other? And also, why won’t you treat me like you’re treating him, hyung?” Jisung whines. “Why do _I_ get to be threatened when I take too long to order and _he_ gets a free pass?” This Hyunjin guy is tall, reasonably good-looking, gets along well with people, knows proper first aid, _and_ has Minho’s immediate approval? That’s just unfair. 

With a single raised eyebrow, Minho starts, “Hyunjin has the same classes as Felix, which means I’m also his assistant instructor in extension. And about your other question, Hyunjin here hasn’t offered me reasons to threaten him. Yet.” 

Jisung hears Hyunjin gulping soundly beside him. “Um. I’ll just want a chicken croissant, hyung,” he says. “Please.”

“Alrighty!” Minho writes it down. “I’ll be back soon. Try not to miss me too much, Jisungie.”

And with that, he’s gone. 

“What was that about?” Hyunjin asks, a hint of worry clear in his voice. “What did Minho-hyung mean by threatening?” 

Oh, to be getting to know _the_ Lee Minho for the first time. A real thrill, Jisung can’t even blame Hyunjin for feeling confused. 

It’s Chan who answers him. “Well, he _did_ mean actual threatening. It comes with the package of Minho’s friendship. But don’t worry,” he adds quickly when Hyunjin starts grimacing. “That's just how he demonstrates affection. He’s probably one of the kindest people you’ll ever know.” 

On that Jisung has to agree. Having Minho as a friend is an intense, but deeply enjoyable experience. There’s no one in the world like him. It’s no surprise they got to become so close in such a short amount of time. It’s truly amazing how Minho seems to be able to always adapt to anyone while still maintaining his quirks and acting authentically like himself. Jisung sometimes wishes he could be like that as well. 

“Oh,” Hyunjin starts, his eyes wide and his mouth in the shape of an ‘o’. “That’s kind of nice. At least I guess so?” he finishes with a weak laugh. 

And they all go on with the rest of the night with miscellaneous conversations. Unsurprisingly, Hyunjin fits seamlessly into their group. Jisung learns that he has been Seungmin’s friend pretty much his whole life, having been neighbors since being born and going to the same school until they graduated and went their separate ways. He learns that he spent his first university year abroad in California for an exchange program scholarship. He learns that he has a dog named Kkami who he loves more than _anything_ (he made sure to emphasize this part). He also learns that, despite their early squabbles, he probably won’t mind having Hyunjin in his life that much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear jisung's forehead won't suffer anymore after this lmao


	3. sunday morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Hyunjin bond over pancakes.

Getting to know Jisung entails learning (the good way or the other) the basic two things he absolutely despises. Number one: Sundays. Number two: being forcefully awoken on a Sunday. 

In Jisung’s opinion, Sunday is easily the worst day of the entire week. He perceives it as this strange limbo between freedom and the oncoming responsibilities that are just around the corner; it’s neither like Saturday, that is a carefree and easy day, nor it is like Monday, a day that marks the start of another cycle. It's an in-between that leaves Jisung confused and uneasy. He hates it.

The one thing he can do to treat himself on these days, though, is to let himself sleep until his body decides it’s a good time to wake up. 

Which leads to the second thing Jisung despises. Changbin, for example, had to learn the hard way that Jisung is  _ not  _ to have his slumber interrupted when it’s a Sunday. Two weeks after moving in together, when they were starting to get closer, but still in the process of getting used to each other, Changbin made the grave mistake of loudly barging inside Jisung’s room to ask him something while he was still asleep. Jisung remembers he opened his eyes and saw nothing but rage, not able to think cohesively and driven solely by pure destruction instincts, and grabbed the first solid thing his hands could find (a textbook) and threw it at his flatmate. Not his best moment, he admits. He felt completely awful about it four seconds after doing it and apologized a thousand times. But this incident, however, served as the beginning of an unspoken agreement between the two of them: on Sundays, Changbin is to leave the apartment as soon as he’s awake and ready to go on about his day away from Jisung’s possible wrath. It works perfectly. He only sees his friend in the afternoon a while after he wakes up. No friendship is harmed in the process. 

So in the present day, when he gets abruptly removed from his peaceful dream after hearing the doorbell ringing not once, but  _ twice _ , at ten in the fucking morning, he gets livid. 

“Go the fuck away!” He yells with his eyes still closed, knowing he can’t be possibly heard but still not giving a single fuck. He’s not opening that goddamn door. His friends know the golden rule to not wake him up, so definitely it’s no one of importance to him. He decides that whoever’s on the other side can rot for all he cares. 

He tries to get himself back to sleep, willing his mind to ignore the fact that someone’s out there trying to get inside. That is until he hears the doorbell ring a third time. And then he gets up seeing red. Absentmindedly he wraps a blanket around his naked torso and stomps toward his room’s door, opening it with not a single care in the world. 

Once in front of the apartment’s door, Jisung angrily opens it, a scowl clear on his face and nastily asking, “Who the fuck is it?!”

When he sees who’s there, he wants to scream.

“Oh, hey Jisung, were you sleeping?”

_Was he slee-._ Jisung has to mentally restrain himself not to snap at the other boy. That’s all he has to say after clearly seeing that Jisung _was_ indeed sleeping? And is _not_ sleeping anymore precisely because of him? Closing his eyes and praying for calmness in this situation, he takes a deep breath. “Yes, Hyunjin. I was fucking sleeping.”

The other guy has the decency to look sheepish. It’s a shame that Jisung’s empathy hasn’t woken up all the way yet. “Oh. Sorry for bothering you, I just didn’t know what to do.”

When Jisung says nothing to that, he continues, “I kinda got myself locked out of my apartment and both Jeongin and Seungmin are away. Figured I could try and find refuge here until one of them comes back.”

A part of Jisung wants to say harsh words; wants to tell Hyunjin how this is not his problem and how he can fuck off; wants to slam the door on his face and get back to his room and pretend to sleep for two more hours. But he knows the guilt would eat him alive. Jisung briefly remembers the therapy sessions he attended last summer. He remembers the therapist showing him ways to deal with anger, remembers her telling him she trusts his ability to make the right decisions in moments he feels the ugly emotions taking over. It was his wish then to be a better person, and he’s still working on that even today. With a defeated sigh, he makes a decision he knows future-him will be proud of. 

Just as he’s opening his mouth, though, Hyunjin starts, “You can go back to sleep and I can just wait here, it’s no problem really. I promise I won’t snoop around or anything. I mean, if that’s okay with you, of course,” he finishes weakly.

“It’s fine, Hyunjin, you can come in,” he opens the door all the way and gives the space for Hyunjin to come inside, which he promptly does. “You can sit on the couch and get comfortable or whatever. I’ll just…” Jisung vaguely makes a gesture to indicate his current state, “get changed and I’ll be back.”

And that’s what he does. Once back inside his room, he picks up a seemingly clean shirt from a pile of accumulated clothes on his chair and puts it on. He decides the sweatpants he’s already wearing are appropriate enough to keep. After he’s okay with the clothing aspect of things, he goes to the bathroom just next to his room to brush his teeth and wash his face quickly. He feels the last bits of sleep leave his body with the water down the drain. 

Returning to the living room, he finds Hyunjin exactly on the same spot he left him a few minutes ago, his back ramrod straight and shoulders tense. Jisung suddenly feels bad. 

Sitting tentatively next to him, Jisung clears his throat. Hyunjin glances briefly at him, not meeting his eyes, and tries to offer a soft smile, the one Jisung is getting used to seeing from him, but it falls short. He feels worse now. “Hey, I’m really sorry for kinda lashing out on you,” Jisung starts and immediately cringes inside. He can do better than this. “I’m normally very cranky in the morning, and it gets worse when I get woken up on days I’m trying to sleep in,” he explains and then quickly adds, “I know it sounds very lame and childish, trust me, I  _ know _ , but what I’m trying to say here is that it wasn’t anything personal against you, okay?”

Hyunjin takes in his rambling with wide eyes. After a while in stunned silence, he shakes his head and says, “You don’t have to apologize, Jisung. If anything  _ I _ was the rude one here. I just thought someone would be awake to open the door, it didn’t even cross my mind that-”

Jisung cuts him off. “Then how about we both say we’re sorry and move on?” He proposes. It’s not even that big of a deal anyway.

Looking as if he still has something to say, Hyunjin hesitates but acquiesces eventually. “Okay. But I’m really sorry.”

Jisung smiles at him. “And I’m sorry, too.”

This time the smile Hyunjin gives him reaches his eyes. 

“Now please, you can relax,” he says to an apparently-still-very-tense-Hyunjin. “It’s okay, I won’t bite you or anything,” he adds with a laugh. Jisung watches as Hyunjin slowly lets himself get comfortable; he sees his shoulders relaxing, his fists unclenching, and at last, his back finally touching the couch. Hyunjin lets out a huge breath.

With that moved aside, Jisung realizes he has no idea what to do next. He might have seen Hyunjin a few times, might have talked to him a bit, even  _ bickered  _ with him, but most of that was when he was around his friends. Being alone with Hyunjin in a situation where they’re not with other people and also not surrounded by an immediate subject (like him bumping into things), Jisung feels awkwardness consuming him. How does one even start a conversation?

Just as he’s about to get his phone and google  _ ways to start a conversation _ , Hyunjin (thankfully) says something. “I like the decoration here a lot, actually,” he starts with a thoughtful voice. Jisung looks at him and sees his eyes wandering around the room. “It’s almost like organized chaos? I can definitely see that two people with different tastes live here, but at the same time, everything feels complimentary, and nothing clashes over or anything. Very intense but still homey,” he concludes his analysis with a satisfied hum. 

Jisung thinks about it for a moment. When he moved in, Changbin was already living in the apartment for a few months. The living room then only had two things: a couch and a TV stand with a television on top of it (all gifts from Changbin’s mother). The walls were white and depressing. Jisung hated it right from the start but didn’t say anything to his flatmate because he was still a bit awkward around him. Once they started getting closer, though, Jisung felt comfortable enough to propose they make some renovations, which thankfully, Changbin agreed to. 

The first step was painting the walls. After getting an okay from the landlady, they immediately went to buy the paints, which brought them to their first issue: Changbin wanted the room to have a “dark vibe” to it, with black walls and all that. Jisung, on the other hand, was going through what he calls his “plants and flowers phase”, being especially obsessed with sunflowers at the time. With that being said, he wanted a room to have more yellow and white hues to it. Lots of discussions and negotiations later, they agreed to do both. Jisung would have the right to  _ one  _ yellow wall, and Changbin would also have his dark wall (not black, though, otherwise the living room would look like it was cosplaying a fucking bee). Jisung’s side got quite an absurd amount of potted plants while Changbin’s side got portraits and drawings from him and from their friends taped to the wall with washi tape as a way to mimic a frame. The newest addition to this wall was a big portrait with the 3RACHA logo on it — also a gift from Changbin’s mother — that proudly stood there.

_ Indeed _ very chaotic, but it is what finally made that apartment feel like home to him. 

While both Jisung and Changbin are broke and messy university students, they both make a constant effort to make their living room… well,  _ livable _ . (Now if their rooms also benefit from this shared effort, it is a completely different matter.)

Jisung smiles, happy to hear such nice words being said about one of his favorite spots in the world. “Thank you! Seungmin says it’s too bright and headache-inducing.”

Hyunjin makes a displeased face at that. “Of course he does,” he says. And in a conspiratorial manner, he leans in and whispers, “Always knew I had better taste than him.”

And that breaks the awkward barrier between them.

Jisung finds it within himself to fill the space with meaningless chit chatter. Now that he is back to himself, he will make sure to chit chatter  _ the fuck _ out of Hyunjin until he’s sick of hearing his voice. Which for some reason doesn’t seem to happen. 

Hyunjin informs him that Jeongin went to spend the day with his older brother and that Seungmin is pretty much living in the library for today. He then asks Jisung what’s the meaning of the big portrait in the room and Jisung wastes no time in telling him all about 3RACHA and about his love for making music. Hyunjin also tells him he’s interested in music production but hasn’t had quite the time to focus on it because of his constant dance practices. When Jisung asks him what he was doing before getting here, Hyunjin says he likes to wake up early on Sundays to take a run. (Jisung tells him exactly how the idea of him doing the same thing feels repulsing).

Once again he finds out how easy it is to be around Hyunjin. Jisung feels comfortable enough to say whatever comes to his mind and Hyunjin seemingly feels just as comfortable to make his own comments and laugh at his jokes. It’s nice.

That is until Jisung’s stomach makes a loud gurgling sound and puts a stop to their conversation. 

He feels his cheeks heating up. “Um. I kinda forgot to eat something.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow at that. “You think?”

Jisung doesn’t grace Hyunjin with a reply. Quickly getting up from the couch, he motions for Hyunjin to follow him to the kitchen. Once they’re both there, Jisung realizes one thing. “Damn, I didn’t even ask you if you wanted something to drink,” he tells Hyunjin and proceeds to drape his torso over the kitchen counter in a dramatic manner. Hyunjin slowly follows him and eventually leans his arms into the other side of the counter. “You can say it, I’m the worst host in the world. I yell at you and don’t even offer a glass of water afterward? That’s brutal.”

Hyunjin laughs. Jisung notices his nose scrunches up a bit. “It’s alright, I kinda caught you in a bad time. But now that you mention it, I  _ would  _ like a glass of water.”

Jisung straightens up. He nods to Hyunjin with the seriousness of a man who has an important duty to accomplish. Grabbing a cup from the cabinet over the kitchen sink, he quickly goes over to the water filter and fills it up. Once back in front of Hyunjin, he hands him the cup with two hands and his head slightly bowed down. “Here.”

When Hyunjin takes it and Jisung looks at him, he notices he’s got an amused expression on his face. “Thank you oh so very much,” he replies with the same amount of flair and drama as Jisung. After drinking it, he asks, “Ever thought of being an actor?”

“No, but if my music career fails it’s good to know I have other options.”

Their bantering would’ve continued if Jisung’s stomach hadn’t chosen this moment to growl another time. 

“I really think you should eat something,” Hyunjin needlessly says.

Groaning with defeat, Jisung opens his fridge only to be met with pretty much nothing. Okay, to be fair there is a carton of eggs and a bottle of milk, but to think he has to either drink pure milk or prepare the eggs makes him want to scream. He and Changbin need to do the groceries as soon as fucking possible. 

Making the mental decision to put his hunger on hold for a couple of hours until it’s appropriate enough to have lunch, he closes the fridge. Before he could suggest to Hyunjin that they return to the living room, though, the other boy starts, “Do you think you have the ingredients to make pancakes?”

Jisung stops. He thinks about it for a second and concludes he does have the ingredients (there was still some flour and baking powder left from  _ The Pancake Fiasco _ from a month ago). However, what he doesn’t understand is  _ why  _ Hyunjin’s asking this. Maybe he’s craving pancakes himself? But does he honestly think Jisung would make them? After last time’s disaster? Absolutely no way. His good-host abilities can only go so far. 

“Um. Yeah, I do. But let’s say last time I tried making pancakes with Changbin-hyung the batter pretty much became cement and somehow got glued to the ceiling, so…” he scratches his head and snorts, “maybe it’s not good I try it a second time.” 

Hyunjin stares at him for a while, seemingly trying not to laugh. Jisung sees his lips trembling. “I was gonna suggest  _ I  _ make  _ you _ some pancakes, but it’s interesting to know you’re hopeless in the kitchen. How about we try to change it today, huh?” 

The fierce grin Hyunjin gives him screams a challenge, and there’s nothing Jisung likes more than a good challenge. Even if it involves the possibility of putting his home in biohazard. So game  _ on _ . 

“Alright, let’s do it,” he mirrors Hyunjin’s grin. “But before we start, if we end up setting the kitchen on fire or something, it’s on you,” he points at Hyunjin. 

“Don’t you worry, Jisung. I actually know what I’m doing.” 

And boy, he did know what he was doing. 

After Jisung assembled the ingredients and the utensils needed, Hyunjin was quick to get everything ready in the bowl in the blink of an eye with the expertise of someone who has done this several times before. The measuring cups weren’t even needed. Jisung doesn’t know if his confidence should be interpreted as a good or as a bad sign. Kinda suspect how he and Changbin followed the recipe bit by bit and still managed to create a monster in the process.

“Okay, now I need you to mix everything until the batter is smooth,” he says and then demonstrates the right way to do it. Which happens to be the exact opposite of how he did it last time.  _ Huh _ . “Think you can do it?”

Dangerous words to say around Jisung. “Of fucking course, baby. Bring it on.”

Despite his early assumption that there was no way he could make this without compromising the whole thing, Jisung’s quite pleased once he finishes it. The smooth mixture beams at him and he feels like the bowl he’s holding is his baby. A baby that he’s hopefully about to eat soon. 

(And Hyunjin only had to help him once!)

Just a few minutes later and they have a tower of beautiful, golden, delicious-looking pancakes drizzling with the syrup he and Changbin never got around to using. When he finally gets to try it, Jisung swears he sees stars. 

“Oh my fucking god, this is delicious,” he says with his mouth full and then promptly shoves more food in his mouth. 

“I told you I knew what to do,” Hyunjin grins and also shoves more food down his throat. 

“And with that, I’ll never doubt you again,” Jisung swears solemnly with a hand pressed to his heart.

It’s at that moment that Jisung hears the front door opening. “Hyung, you better come here right now,” he yells.

The moment Changbin enters the kitchen, Jisung can see a question mark clear on his expression. “Oh, hey Hyunjin, didn’t expect to see you here,” Changbin looks from Jisung to Hyunjin and then pauses at the plate of pancakes between them on the table, only to return his confused glance to Jisung one more time. 

Before Hyunjin could do more than shyly wave at Changbin, Jisung starts, “Hyung, if I were you I’d be  _ shaking  _ in my boots right now. I’m about to let Hyunjin here take your place if you’re not careful. Look, he made these fucking delicious pancakes. And nothing is stuck to the ceiling!” He says all that through a mouthful of food and is pretty sure only half of it was understandable, but Changbin’s unreadable glare tells him he understood enough. 

“Don’t say it was all me,” Hyunjin interjects. “You helped as well. It was a mutual effort!”

Jisung thinks Hyunjin is way too nice sometimes. Changbin, on the other hand, continues awkwardly standing there and giving the two of them weird looks. “Oh, is that so?” he asks quizzically, and then, seeming to snap out of whatever he was in, Changbin laughs and walks further into the kitchen, pulling a seat next to Jisung. “Gotta at least try ‘em out to see if they’re worth me being replaced, right?”

Jisung promptly grabs a plate for his friend and Hyunjin serves him a pancake, drizzling a good amount of maple syrup on top of it.

They both expectantly watch as Changbin takes the first bite. And unsurprisingly, his eyes light up as soon as that happens. “Good, right?” Jisung asks with a smile. 

“Okay, Hyunjin-ah. I’ll gladly let you replace me.”

Jisung notices Hyunjin’s ears become a bit red at that. “Please, no one’s replacing anyone,” he says with a laugh and dismissively waves his hand.

They continue eating the remaining pancakes in silence until their existence becomes only a sweet memory. (And also a warm weight in Jisung’s stomach). He quickly does the dishes while Changbin and Hyunjin talk about something he doesn’t pay any attention to. Jisung can’t believe that only an hour ago he was cursing Hyunjin’s entire existence, and now he’s immensely grateful for having his sleep disturbed. If Sunday mornings were always like this, he can see himself getting used to it. Being excited about it, too. He doesn’t even understand what that means.

“Oh,” he hears Hyunjin starting when he finishes washing the last plate. “Seungmin just texted me saying he’s here. Just in time for me to get ready for practice, thank god,” he ends the sentence more to himself and then gets up. “I’m pretty sure I overstayed my welcome a long time ago,” he adds with a sheepish laugh. Then he turns to face Jisung. “Thank you for letting me stay. And sorry again for waking you up. I promise to make sure to be more careful from now on.”

Jisung almost wants to say he doesn’t care at all about being woken up if he gets nice company and tasty food as a result.  _ Almost _ . 

Quickly grabbing a dishcloth to dry his hands, he signals for Hyunjin to wait. “I’ll see you off, let me just…” he trails off. Once he’s done, he throws the cloth on the counter and starts walking toward the living room, waiting for Hyunjin to follow suit. He hears him saying goodbye to Changbin, and Changbin telling him he’s always welcome to drop by.

When Hyunjin catches up to him, Jisung walks him to the door and opens it with a flourish of hands. “See? I can be a nice host.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow at that. “Never said you couldn’t be one. We just had a… rocky start. But don’t worry, you’ve since proved to be a good host.”

Jisung snickers at him. They exchange goodbyes one more time and then Hyunjin is gone.

Closing the door, Jisung turns around and notices Changbin has also come to the living room and is sitting on the couch, watching him with the same unreadable expression from earlier. The fact that Jisung can’t determine if it means something positive or negative makes him kinda unsure if he wants to sit next to his friend and find out. 

He ends up tentatively sitting next to him on the couch, anyway. 

It’s Changbin who says something first. “So. Hyunjin, huh? He’s a pretty nice guy, right?”

Jisung blinks confusedly at his friend. Is there a catch? There might be a catch, considering how Changbin is looking at him. It makes his skin crawl. “Um. Yeah he is, I guess?”

“You guys seem to be hitting it off well, considering he woke you up and you don't seem to be mad at all,” Changbin muses. 

_ Oh _ , so this is what this is about. “Hyung, are you  _ jealous _ ? I know I didn’t treat you the same when you did it that first time, but I had to learn how to become at least a mildly civilized human being someway or another. Also, for your information, I  _ did  _ yell at him for waking me up. And about what I said earlier, you know I was joking, right? You’re my best friend, no cooking skills from other people will change that,” he rambles to an amused looking Changbin, who flicks Jisung on the forehead. (Apparently, his forehead will never catch a rest.)

With a smirk at the corner of his mouth, he starts, “Of course I’m not jealous, you shithead. But I  _ am  _ deeply touched by your sudden declaration of love and friendship. You should say nice things to me more often, Jisungie!” He tries to hug Jisung only to have Jisung punching him lightly on the arm. An impromptu wrestling match takes place on their couch until they’re both laughing and too weak to continue.

“I’m just asking, that’s all,” Changbin continues after a moment of silence. “You already seem very comfortable with him. Not even with Minho-hyung you got to become so close after such a small time. And that says a lot.”

Jisung thinks about it. He and Minho had become friends pretty quickly for Jisung’s standards. But even then, he needed a bit more than a week to start feeling completely comfortable around the other boy. 

“I don’t know. I guess so? Hyunjin is just very easy to get along with. At least he is when he’s not trying to purposely be an ass to me like you saw on the Maze Friday night. But yeah. I think the fact that he already saw me in a vulnerable state  _ twice  _ and did nothing but help me out also makes it easier.”

Changbin nods at him. “It makes sense. He  _ is  _ a tight dude, I’m sure we’re all gonna become good friends soon.”

Glad to have that put aside, Jisung grabs his phone from his pocket and opens the Instagram app, scrolling through his feed mindlessly. He jumps when Changbin coughs to get his attention a few minutes later.

“Been meaning to ask you about this but always forgot. What about that girl you were talking to? Hyejin? It’s been a while since you last mentioned her.”

Jisung sets his phone aside. “Hyemi,” he corrects. “And there’s nothing for me to tell you about, to be honest. After that one weird-as-fuck date, she hasn’t replied to my texts anymore. And I kinda don’t mind at all. If anything, she’s making me a big favor by doing it. It’s like after she realized I wanted to get to know her instead of straight-up hooking up after seeing her for the first time made her lose interest. I mean, I get it. People normally don’t go on Tinder for the romance, but I just can’t bring myself to… you know. Do it right away,” he finishes weakly, averting his eyes to his lap. Talking about things like these always make him feel lame and uncomfortable. 

Jisung had been excited to meet Hyemi after talking to her for a couple of weeks. She was pretty and shared a lot of interests with him. They had nice conversations. But when they met for the first time, it seemed the point of the whole thing was shifted unbeknownst to Jisung. She wanted something Jisung wasn’t ready to give, and it made things very awkward for the rest of their excruciatingly long date. You see, Jisung isn’t a prude. He also isn’t a stranger to sex. But he needs a bit more than briefly finding a girl interesting to bring himself into doing it. Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t like this, though. 

“Is it weird, hyung?” He continues before Changbin can say anything. “I feel like I’m wasting opportunities by being this way. I wish I could just… I don’t know. Maybe grow out of it, perhaps?”

“It’s not weird at all, Jisung,” Changbin quickly reassures him with a serious tone. When he meets his friend’s eyes, Jisung sees concern and care. “I mean it, okay? Everyone has different priorities and expectations when it comes to relationships, and it’s  _ all  _ valid. You should never force yourself into doing things you’re not comfortable with just to fit into whatever other people are expecting of you. Fuck all that. And if anyone ever makes you feel like you’re less than them because of this, you better let me know and I’ll make sure they fucking sleep with an eye open at night.”

Against his wishes, Jisung feels his eyes watering up. He’s hit with immense gratitude for having such a supportive friend next to him, someone who makes him feel valid for feeling something Jisung himself doesn’t fully understand. He scoots closer to Changbin and wraps an arm over him, hugging him closely and pressing his head on Changbin’s arm. “Thank you, hyung. You’re the best,” he says, the sound a bit muffled. “I can’t believe I just thought about replacing you. I must have been out of my mind.”

Changbin messes his hair a bit and laughs. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

They spend a while like this. Jisung clings to him while still thinking things through. When he feels like he reached an agreement within himself, he starts, “I guess it’s alright to want to have a friendship with someone before anything bigger. There’s no reason for me to feel bad about this.”

“There you go,” Changbin pats his thigh. “And I’m absolutely sure you’ll find someone who likes you just the way you are. Now. As much as this heart to heart is nice, you kinda stink a bit. So please get off me and go take shower, for fuck’s sake.”

He promptly untangles himself from his friend and flips him off half-heartedly. 

Feeling happy and light, he walks to the bathroom with a smile on his face.    
  


The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. After showering, Jisung prepares some ramen for him and Changbin to eat for lunch and then spends the rest of his afternoon catching up on some of the way-too-many webtoons he follows, FaceTiming his parents, and also working on a few lyrics for upcoming projects. It’s uneventful, but nice.

At night, when he’s trying to find something nice to watch on Netflix’s catalog, his phone beeps with a series of text notifications.

**unknown number (8:21 p.m)**

_ hey _

**unknown number (8:21 p.m)**

_ it’s hyunjin btw _

**unknown number (8:21 p.m)**

_ i asked seungmin for your number, hope this isn’t weird or anything lmao _

**unknown number (8:22 p.m)**

_ just wanted to say that if you ever find urself again in dire need of nice and delicious food you can always call me ;p _

Jisung smiles. He quickly saves Hyunjin’s contact before replying and makes sure to find a fitting kaomoji to accompany his name.

**han jisung (8:23 p.m)**

_ oh you’re giving me way too much power. _

**han jisung (8:23 p.m)**

_ you’re so gonna regret this _

Hyunjin takes a while to respond. And when the response comes, even if Jisung doesn’t fully get what it means, it makes him smile brightly in the darkness of his room. It almost feels as if a secret had just been shared between the two of them.

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (8:35 p.m)**

nah i really don’t think i will

He stores this exchange at the back of his mind for another time. When he goes to sleep later that night, he dreams of crescent moons, warm smiles, and the sound of laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! you might have noticed I changed the ominous question mark on the number of chapters to 10. there might be more or less chapters than that, but my initial rough draft is at the moment 10 chapters long. so buckle up!
> 
> just a few things before i go. this chapter featured jisung showing some issues in terms of dealing with anger and frustration. if i'm not entirely mistaken, he's talked about this before in the real life. just wanted to make sure no one interprets it as me villainizing jisung, or painting him as a bad person, much to the contrary! i wanted to add this detail to the story to make his character feel more human. we all have our issues, and dealing with emotions is not always an easy task to do. but the important thing here is that he recognizes it and works hard within himself to improve. 
> 
> another thing i want to discuss is about his sexuality here. in this chapter jisung says some things that implies he's demisexual. he doesn't really have a label to define his feelings, he just knows he feels different from the majority of people around him. also about his sexuality, at this point jisung still thinks he's straight. he grew up in a heteronormative context and never really had to think about it. sometimes that's just how it is. we'll discuss more of this in future chapters, though!
> 
> as always, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


	4. fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's count how many times jisung says he's confused
> 
> just to make the timeline context clear, since i haven’t mentioned it yet, this story takes place at first during the end of january. as of the end of this chapter, they’re reaching the end of february.

Hyunjin finds a place in their friend group in such a way that Jisung can’t even remember how things were before he was around. 

Over the past weeks of them knowing each other, a few things have changed. For starters, the first time the eight of them hang out together as one big group brings a series of different dynamics: Jisung gets to see Hyunjin and Seungmin having a pretty much symbiotic and synchronized relationship, where they seem to telepathically communicate through looks and microexpressions (a bit freaky, in his opinion); Minho and Hyunjin’s newest relationship development, which features Hyunjin (who apparently has an acquired taste for death) getting comfortable enough to start teasing Minho, and Minho finally showing him what threatening means by making Hyunjin shut up with just a mention of the possibility of wet tissues shoved inside his mouth; yet another person to baby Jeongin (for his utter despise); Felix finding another willing pair of open arms to wrap himself around at any given opportunity. Overall, they all take in Hyunjin as if it was only a matter of time until he got there. As if he was meant to be there, somehow. 

As for Jisung, the most significant change between him and Hyunjin happens exactly a week after the past  _ Sunday Morning Situation _ . Contrary to what normally happens, that next Sunday, Jisung wakes up (without any interruption this time, thank god) and realizes it is only half-past nine in the morning, which is something that has never happened before. Blinking confusedly at the time displayed on his phone screen, Jisung contemplates getting back to sleep, only to give up three minutes later and get up from his bed. 

He decides to make good use of this unexpected early start by taking a long shower and getting ready for the rest of the day. Once he’s done, Jisung remembers something and, without much thinking, he grabs his phone and opens the KakaoTalk app, typing in a message. 

**han jisung (10:05 a.m)**

_ hey is your offer for breakfast still open? _

The reply comes almost immediately.

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (10:06 a.m)**

_ yes ! _

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (10:06 a.m)**

_ i’ll be hpme in five minytes _

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (10:06 a.m)**

_ sry for the typos im stilk running _

Jisung stares at his phone with a smile on his face. Tasty food and great company are on the way! Another win for him, which he views as the much-deserved universe’s reparation to him after being put through so many unfortunate events recently. 

And in no time, he hears a knock on the door. Opening it, Jisung is greeted by the sight of a very sweaty and breathless Hyunjin. Before he could motion for him to get inside, though, Hyunjin starts, “Hey, do you mind if I go take a quick shower before we start? I’m kind of very gross right now as you can see,” he makes a vague gesture to indicate his body, which is, again,  _ very  _ sweaty. Jisung blinks. “I promise I’ll be quick.”

For some reason beyond his comprehension, Jisung finds himself unable to do anything other than stare at Hyunjin. He’s wearing a black sweatshirt and white sweatpants, his hair tied into a messy bun, some stray strands plastered to his face. There’s nothing special to it, but  _ still _ . It’s only when he notices Hyunjin’s repeatedly saying his name with a confused expression that Jisung snaps out of whatever the fuck kind of reverie he was in. He coughs into his hand and averts his eyes away. “Yeah, no. I mean, yeah, it’s no problem. Yeah.” He feels his face heating up and hopes it’s not red enough to be visible. “You can go, I’ll just… wait. Yeah.”

Hyunjin seems unconvinced. “Are you alright?” He narrows his eyes. “You look a bit feverish. Let me check your-”

“NO!” Jisung exclaims and dodges away from Hyunjin’s hand, which was about to touch his forehead. Hyunjin looks incredibly startled at that and recoils away instantly. Feeling guilty, Jisung sheepishly recommences, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But I’m alright, promise I’m not feverish or anything. Guess I’m just so hungry it’s making me delirious,” he lets out a laugh that sounds a bit too hysterical to convince someone he’s not sick.

Hyunjin still looks dubious but acquiesces anyway. “Okay. Then I’ll be going,” he starts slowly backing away. “See you later.” Jisung nods at him, and then he’s gone. 

Closing the door shut, Jisung leans his back onto it and gradually slides down until he’s sitting on the ground. He still feels his face hot, and his thoughts scrambled all over his mind in such a disordered way he can’t even begin to try and understand what’s going on. Maybe his brain has been fried.

_ What the hell was that.  _

* * *

True to his word, Hyunjin returns a few minutes later, now wearing clean clothes and with his hair still looking a bit damp from the shower. Jisung, thankfully, is fully back to himself now and greets him with a casualness that would almost convince anyone that what happened earlier was merely an illusion.

When Hyunjin gets inside, Jisung notices he’s holding a plastic bag. While leading the other boy to the kitchen, he points to the bag in question and asks, “Watchu got there?”

“What?- Oh,” he looks at the bag in his hand as if he forgot he was even carrying it in the first place. Setting it on the kitchen counter, he explains, “I had the suspicion you’d still have nothing on your fridge other than eggs and milk.” Hyunjin is absolutely correct, but Jisung decides to say nothing to confirm his suspicion. “I figured I should bring the ingredients myself so we could try something different. How do you feel about egg toast?”

Jisung smiles widely. “Love it.”

And thus, an unspoken tradition between them both begins. It starts with one of them reaching the other, just like Jisung had done the first time, asking if they can eat breakfast together. But it quickly evolves into Hyunjin freely ringing his doorbell when he’s back from his Sunday morning runs, knowing that Jisung will be awake and waiting for him. The interesting thing is that Jisung manages to always wake up in time without the need for an alarm, almost as if his body had conditioned itself into learning it. As if his body is unconsciously  _ waiting  _ for it.

Sometimes they’re too lazy to make breakfast from scratch and content themselves with just eating cereal and enjoying each other’s presence. Other times, however, they challenge themselves into making more elaborate dishes. For instance, there was this one morning where they made a full-on traditional Korean breakfast, with lots of side dishes, and Jisung felt like he was in heaven. (Granted, he had to make the groceries beforehand for that to happen and ended up even more broke than before as a result, but it was  _ totally  _ worth it). Once realizing he wasn’t in immediate danger of facing Jisung’s possible wrath, Changbin eventually joined in as well whenever he could.

Jisung accepts this new routine with open arms and feels at peace and comforted by the constant-like nature of it. 

That is until one morning, Hyunjin doesn’t show up. 

As usual (or at least as the  _ new  _ usual), Jisung wakes up early and immediately leaves his bed to get ready for the day. He takes a quick shower, gets dressed in comfortable clothes, and, once he’s done, goes to the kitchen to organize the ingredients he and Hyunjin will be needing today. Hyunjin had commented last week that he wants to try out a cinnamon roll recipe he had seen in a video, and Jisung encouraged him enough to make him agree that they would be doing it next time. Ever since, he’s been so excited that he couldn’t stop thinking about the promise of warm, freshly baked cinnamon rolls throughout the entire week. 

So it’s safe to say he’s expectantly waiting for the moment Hyunjin will inevitably knock on his door, and they’ll finally get to it.

But Hyunjin doesn’t.

Hyunjin usually comes around 10, sometimes a bit earlier, sometimes a bit later. But for it to be half-past 11 already, and Hyunjin showing no signs whatsoever of his existence, it makes Jisung feel a weight drop on his stomach, this weight getting heavier and heavier as the minutes pass by. 

When he decides there’s no way Hyunjin’s showing up today, Jisung sends him a text message asking if something’s happened. A part of him hates himself for it. What if Hyunjin’s busy doing other things? What if he’s hanging out with other friends? Jisung hates feeling clingy. He hates feeling pathetic. Hyunjin is not entitled to Jisung in any way, and as much as their Sunday meetings became a regular thing between them, they never really talked about it. So Hyunjin could just be doing other things, and it’s okay! But another part of Jisung, however, feels extremely worried. He  _ knows  _ Hyunjin would tell him if he couldn’t come, and that’s what makes him try and reach out. Fuck feeling pathetic and clingy. He has the right to worry about a friend.

He tries to text Seungmin and Jeongin as well when Hyunjin doesn’t reply, but to no avail. His heart beats faster with concern. Something’s wrong. 

Getting tired of waiting for nothing, Jisung makes up his mind and gets up from the couch, promptly leaving and going up one flight of stairs until he’s facing his friends’ apartment door. He presses the doorbell once. 

No response. Just as he’s reaching out to ring the doorbell once again, the door opens and reveals a sight that makes Jisung’s heart drop: Hyunjin wrapped up in a blanket, his face sickly flushed, his eyes bloodshot and sunken, and his whole body trembling. 

“Hey, Jisung,” Hyunjin starts in a hoarse voice. “Sorry I couldn’t make it today. Not feeling my best,” he attempts to laugh. Jisung hates it. “It’d be better if you left. Don’t want to make you sick as well.”

Jisung stares with a frown. Does Hyunjin really think Jisung cares about getting sick? He cares about  _ him _ . “Are you alone?” He asks, already knowing the answer. 

“Yeah… both Seungmin and Jeongin had things to do and I didn’t want to make them lose their appointments. Told them I was feeling better,” he sniffs.

What the fuck. Jisung crosses the open space of the door and fully enters the apartment, raising a hand to touch Hyunjin’s forehead. It’s unsurprisingly burning hot. 

“Jesus fuck, Hyunjin. That’s a high fever.”

Hyunjin shrugs and drops his gaze to the floor, looking incredibly small with the blanket wrapped around him. 

“Go to your bedroom, and I’ll bring you some stuff, okay? I’m not leaving you like this.”

To Jisung’s surprise, though, that makes Hyunjin frown at him and clench his jaw. “You don’t have to stay. I’m not a fucking baby, Jisung. I can take care of myself. So please go away, alright?”

Confused at the sudden shift, Jisung takes a step back and raises his hands. If the situation were different, Jisung would probably laugh at the image of Hyunjin, with a fluffy pink blanket around him, trying to square up and look intimidating. “Look, I  _ know  _ you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself,” he tries to reason with him the same way he reasons with the 6-year-old he gives particular piano lessons to and hopes for the best. “But do you  _ have  _ to? If you stop being so stubborn, you can make things easier for yourself.”

When Hyunjin shows no indication of being convinced by his speech, Jisung tries again. “And I’m offering help not because I think you’re less capable, but because I  _ care  _ about you. So will you let me?” 

Hyunjin seems to debate this over his head until his frown disappears and his jaw relaxes. He sighs. “Fine.”

And then Hyunjin walks away, leaving Jisung alone in the living room.

Feeling wholly unprepared to deal with this situation, Jisung pulls out his phone and types into Google ‘ _ how to take care of someone with a fever’.  _ Clicking on the first link to show up, Jisung briefly reads it and concludes he has essentially six steps to follow. That’s doable. 

Step number one: keep the person hydrated. 

Easy enough. Jisung goes to the kitchen and gets a glass of water. Then he goes to Hyunjin’s room, finding him laying in a fetal position at the edge of the bed, and seeming to have not one, but three blankets wrapped around him, this time. Jisung’s Google research tells him this is not good. 

Approaching him quietly, Jisung softly calls out his name to alert the other boy of his presence. Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open. “Hey, you think you can sit up for a moment? Here, I’ll help you.” 

Setting the cup on the bedside table next to him, Jisung helps Hyunjin up. Touching him, Jisung is, once again, reminded of how hot Hyunjin is burning. He worries and worries. 

“You should drink lots of water,” he says and hands Hyunjin the glass of water. Without saying anything, Hyunjin takes it and drinks the water in small sips. When he’s done, he returns it to Jisung and proceeds to lay down again.

Step one successfully concluded. Now onto steps two and three: medication and light foods.

“Have you taken anything for your fever?” He asks a drowsy, almost half-asleep Hyunjin. At least he’s not angry anymore. Jisung watches as Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open and closed, unfocused. After a while, though, he finally manages to get them opened.

And when that happens, Jisung sees they’re filled with tears. “No,” he croaks in a small voice. “We’re out of pain relievers. Couldn’t even call the pharmacy delivery. My head hurts so much, Jisung. I hate feeling so useless.” And then he starts sobbing, tears freely streaming down his face. 

Jisung feels his heart shatter into a thousand pieces in his chest. He’s hit then with the primal need to  _ protect _ . 

Absentmindedly setting the cup back on the bedside table, Jisung crouches down until he’s at eye level with Hyunjin. He takes his hand. “Please don’t cry. You’re not useless, okay?” Hyunjin looks at him with trembling lips and watery eyes. Jisung reaches out and wipes away the falling tears from his cheeks. “How about I go buy you aspirin and some food? That sounds good, right? I promise I’ll be back soon.” 

Eventually, Hyunjin nods, and Jisung lets go of his hand, quickly getting up. Before he leaves, however, he remembers something he should do.

In the bathroom, he grabs a clean hand towel from the cabinet and soaks it in water, wringing out the excess when he’s finished. Now back beside Hyunjin, who’s awake this time to see him coming, Jisung gently presses the wet towel to his burning forehead. “There you go,” he says. “Now I’ll get going. You should get some rest.”

Hyunjin nods and gives him a small but reassuring smile, just a slight upturn of lips. Jisung feels something tugging in his chest. 

Not wanting to waste time, Jisung finally leaves the apartment and walks toward the nearest pharmacy. On the way, he texts Changbin to let him know he’s with Hyunjin for today.

Arriving at the pharmacy, he promptly grabs more pain relievers than he should probably get and then hurries to the cashier. After paying, Jisung thinks of what he should buy for Hyunjin to eat. Maybe a trip to the convenience store won’t give him appropriate options, he thinks.

Not knowing what to do, he calls his mom.

“Hi, Mom,” he says when she picks up. “Are you busy now? I kind of need your help with something.”

“Hello, honey. I’m free. What can I help you with?”

Just by hearing her voice, Jisung can’t help but smile fondly. “What food should I give to someone sick?” He asks. “With a fever,” he complements. 

His mom hums. “Is Changbin sick? You can make him rice porridge. That’s what I used to give you when you were sick.”

“Um. It’s not Changbin-hyung. It’s another friend that you don’t know. Anyway, the real question here is: do you think  _ I  _ can make it without food-poisoning him?”

Jisung hears faint laughter from the other side of the line. “Oh, Jisungie. If you can’t make rice, then I don’t know what to do with you. But let’s do it like this: you can video call me and I’ll walk you through it and make sure you don’t kill your already-sick friend.”

He loves his mom. “Thank you, Mom! You’re the best. I love you.”

“Love you too, honey. And when your new friend gets better, don’t forget to introduce him to me, alright?”

“Sure thing!” They say their goodbyes, and he hangs up. 

Jisung quickly gets back at the apartment and lets himself in with the extra key he had taken before leaving so that he wouldn’t have to wake Hyunjin up. After placing the pharmacy bag on top of the kitchen counter, he proceeds to search for where his friends keep the rice.

Having it ready after a while of looking around, Jisung finally video calls his mom.

About 40 minutes later, Jisung has a bowl of completely safe-looking rice porridge (all thanks to his mom) in his hands. He feels oddly proud. 

After some digging up, he manages to find a tray — on which he places the bowl of rice porridge, a spoon, a glass of water, and an aspirin pill — and then takes it to Hyunjin’s room. If his own stomach is rumbling indignantly, he ignores it for now.

Hyunjin’s in the exact same position he was when Jisung left. He watches for a while the constant rise and fall of Hyunjin’s chest and dreads the fact that he’s about to wake him up. 

Time to suck it up!

Jisung tries his best to place the tray on top of the bedside table without making any noise and then presses a hand to Hyunjin’s shoulder, shaking it lightly. He hears Hyunjin whining at the disturbance, but he opens his eyes after a while. 

“Brought you some aspirin. And food as well, if you’re up for it.”

Hyunjin blinks at him a couple of times before answering, “The pills first.”

Jisung gets what he needs from the tray while Hyunjin removes the cloth from his forehead and sits up. He hands him the pill and the glass of water, which Hyunjin takes immediately and drinks alongside the aspirin. Seemingly satisfied, Hyunjin hands him the empty cup and gives him that same almost-smile from before. “Thank you.”

Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, Jisung feels awkward standing there. Should he sit on the floor? Should he sit on the bed? Should he continue standing and hovering over Hyunjin? Many questions, not too many answers. He doesn’t quite know what to do with his arms, so he crosses them.

He clears his throat. “No problem. Are you feeling any better?”

Hyunjin pauses, furrows his brows and seems to think about it. “I guess I’m less bad than before, but I can’t really say I’ve made significant progress,” he says. “But anyway, what’ve you got there?” He points at the bowl in the tray.

_ Right _ . Putting the spoon inside the bowl, Jisung gives it to Hyunjin — who eyes it curiously. “It’s rice porridge. Don’t know if you like it, to be honest, but my mom said it’d be good for you. So….” He trails off and presses a hand to the back of his neck, feeling it hot. For some reason, he feels embarrassed.

“Oh. You asked your mom?” Hyunjin asks, staring at Jisung with an unreadable expression. Jisung gulps.

“Yeah,” he lets out a nervous chuckle. “I needed some help. Didn’t really know what to do and also didn’t want to fuck it up. But that’s not important. Do you need help eating?” He finishes hurriedly, trying to change the topic of conversation.

Hyunjin looks at him, and then to the porridge, and then at him again. “Oh,” is what he ends up saying. “It’s alright, I can eat by myself. And I do like rice porridge.”

Jisung smiles at that, relieved.

Hyunjin takes his time eating, probably to avoid upsetting his stomach, and Jisung stands there the entire time. Hyunjin says nothing, so he does nothing. When he hands the bowl back to Jisung after finishing, Jisung sees that it’s empty. 

“Thanks for the food,” Hyunjin starts. “It was really good.”

Feeling glad, Jisung only waves his head in the universal  _ don’t mention it _ gesture. Then he puts everything back on the tray and takes it back to the kitchen, deciding he’ll do the dishes later. (Or at least he’ll pretend to forget about it and leave them for Seungmin or Jeongin to do it).

With that, steps two and three are successfully done, and step four — which is to take plenty of rest — is still on-going. Which brings him to the last two steps: a warm bath and light clothes. 

Hyunjin is still sitting when Jisung returns to the room, looking considerably more alive than before. His face still looks flushed, sure, with beads of sweat making his hair stick to his skin, but at least his eyes are starting to regain the usual glow they have. 

Jisung gets closer to him on the bed and presses his hand to his forehead. Still burning hot, alarmingly so.

“You up for a bath? I’m sure it’s gonna make you feel better,” he suggests. Well,  _ Google  _ assured him it would make a feverish person feel better, so who is he to ignore it. 

Hyunjin scrunches his nose in distaste. “I don’t think so. My whole body hurts a lot. Don’t really wanna get up.”

And then he thinks of something. “I can help you out,” he says. But when he sees Hyunjin squinting in confusion at him, he hurriedly continues. “I mean, I can prepare the bath for you and help you get in, that’s it. I wouldn’t look or anything, I swear. You don’t even have to remove your underwear. It’s just so your body temperature can regulate itself or whatever, I don’t really know, to be honest, but only if you’re com-”

“Alright,” Hyunjin interrupts his desperate rambling. “It’s fine. You can help me.”

“Alright,” Jisung dumbly mirrors. “Okay. Cool.”

Cool.

He offers Hyunjin some support so he can get up and walks him to the bathroom. There, Hyunjin sits on the toilet lid while Jisung takes his time preparing the bath. 

Checking the temperature of the water for one last time, he deems it appropriate enough for Hyunjin to get inside. He turns around to say, “Hey, I think you can get-”

He stops when his eyes meet Hyunjin, who seems to have gotten up and removed all his clothes at some point without Jisung realizing.

“-in,” he finishes, belatedly. He makes a point not to look anywhere but Hyunjin’s face.

Either Hyunjin is very comfortable with getting naked in front of people, or the fever’s making him delirious. Jisung has no fucking clue.

Hyunjin nods at him and walks toward the bathtub, getting inside and sitting down without the need for help. And once again, Jisung just stands there. 

When he notices that Hyunjin has no apparent intention of doing anything other than soaking up, Jisung clears his throat. “Um. Are you gonna wash your hair or something?”

“No. Body hurts,” he says.

Of course. The point of this whole thing is to  _ help  _ him. “Want me to do it for you?” 

He has never washed someone else’s hair before in his life and honestly has no idea if can do it decently. Too late now, because Hyunjin looks at him and nods. “You should get a chair first,” Hyunjin says. And with a chuckle, he continues, “Unless you wanna get in here with me?”

Jisung blinks. The answer to his earlier question is shaping up to be  _ delirious _ . “I’ll get the chair.”

When he gets back and sets the chair in front of the tub, Jisung notices that Hyunjin has his hair now wet and plastered to his head. Making things easier for Jisung,  _ thank god _ . 

Riping off the metaphorical band-aid, he promptly grabs the shampoo and gets to it once and for all. 

Surprisingly, it’s not as difficult as he had previously thought. Once he gets past awkward angles and uncomfortable positions, Jisung manages to make a pretty good job. He even tries to replicate the head massage Felix had done to him a while ago, and Hyunjin seems to enjoy it, leaning into his touch and making pleased noises. 

When Jisung is done rinsing Hyunjin’s hair for the last time, he gets up and grabs a towel, handing it to Hyunjin. While the other boy dries himself, Jisung leaves the bathroom and goes to Hyunjin’s room to grab him some clothes. 

In front of the open wardrobe, Jisung thinks about his options. Light clothes, the internet article had said. Not knowing how Hyunjin organizes his clothes, he opens every single drawer and inspects. He ends up picking a thin-fabric graphic t-shirt and sweatpants. Mentally debating whether he should get underwear as well, he thinks _ fuck it _ and grabs black boxers without trying to overthink it. He’s come this far already, and it’s  _ not  _ underwear that’s going to make him back away. He’s a man committed to his causes, thank you very much. 

Back at the bathroom, Hyunjin puts on his boxers and sweatpants by himself. Jisung only has to help him put on the shirt. (He has to get on the tip of his toes to do so. Damn you, Hyunjin, for being so fucking tall). Next, Jisung towel dries Hyunjin’s hair as much as possible and quickly brushes it afterward. 

And that brings them back to Hyunjin’s room. Jisung helps him lay down and covers him with a single thin blanket, putting the other two away. Hyunjin’s eyes are already fluttering shut. All steps are complete now. He mentally pats himself on the back.

“I guess we’re all done here, Hyunjin,” he says softly. “Seungmin texted me just now telling me that he’ll be home soon. Now you just have to rest. If you need anything, you can call me, okay?”

But just as he’s turning around to leave, Hyunjin grips his wrist and stops him from walking any further. “You’re leaving?”

Jisung’s brain blanks out. Hyunjin is looking at him with confused, wide eyes. “You want me to stay?” Jisung asks.

“Stay,” he says and taps the spot on the bed next to him. “You can come here.”

And what is Jisung supposed to say to that? No? He’s not a monster. 

Without replying, he goes to the other side of the bed and carefully sits down. He wills his stomach to shut up just for a bit more. 

When Jisung allows himself to sit more comfortably on the bed, Hyunjin shifts and turns around until he’s facing Jisung. “Sorry I couldn’t go to breakfast today. I knew you were excited about the cinnamon rolls.”

“Don’t worry about it. We can make them next week.”

“But still,” he sniffles. “I’m sorry. Next week I’ll bake you ten batches of cinnamon rolls.”

Jisung laughs softly. “We can make as many batches as you want. Just get better first, okay?”

Hyunjin nods, and then two seconds later, he’s out. 

In between staring at Hyunjin’s sleeping form and vaguely thinking about how he urgently needs to eat something before his stomach starts eating itself, Jisung feels his eyes getting heavier and heavier until he has no other choice but to shut them. Just for a minute, he thinks.

Jisung startles awake a while later from something shaking his shoulders. The something in question reveals itself to be Seungmin. Jisung scratches his eyes and lets out a yawn. “Sorry, didn’t mean to fall asleep. But Hyunjin is doing better,” he motions to the boy who’s still soundly sleeping beside him. “He already took pain relievers and ate. He also took a bath. Just make sure he stays hydrated,” Jisung says while getting up from the bed. 

“Alright,” Seungmin nods. “Thank you for taking care of him, Jisung. If I knew how bad he was feeling, I would’ve stayed. But you can go now. I’ll take it from here.”

Clapping his friend on the back, Jisung tells him, “See you later, man.” And then he goes back to his own apartment, to hopefully find something to eat.

* * *

The next day he wakes up to some text notifications on his phone. 

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (7:34 a.m)**

_ woke up feeling way better! _

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (7:34 a.m)**

_ thank u so much for taking care of me yesterday _

**hyunjin ( ◠‿◠ ) (7:35 a.m)**

_ not gonna lie, now that i’m back to myself i’m feeling a bit embarrassed haha. i tend to get a bit emotional when i’m sick. sorry if i made you uncomfortable in any way _

Jisung replies immediately. 

**han jisung (8:13 a.m)**

_ i’m glad you’re better :D _

**han jisung (8:13 a.m)**

_ and stop it, there’s nothing for you to apologize  _

**han jisung (8:13 a.m)**

_ it was a pleasure to pay you back for all the times you helped me :p _

And it really was a pleasure. Knowing that all his efforts from yesterday made a real difference makes Jisung go on with his day feeling lighthearted and content. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor jisung, he doesn't have a clue... 
> 
> before i go, i just wanted to quickly thank you for all the hits, kudos and comments. your support is very appreciated. you guys really make my day <333  
> you can find me [here!](https://twitter.com/linoworrld)


	5. special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I messed up... while I was organizing the timeline of this story I failed to consider that the school year in South Korea is different from Brazil, which is where I'm from. Here in Brazil we go from late January to June, and July to early December, so the school year in this fanfic is organized like this, and it's too late to change it, since the whole plot is already planned according to it. Please keep this in mind! Just know that they'll have their first recess in June, and the last year's semester will end in December. I hope it's not too confusing or bothersome. I'm really sorry about it.
> 
> But anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter!

“-and then she told me I was starting the movement with the left leg instead of the right one, so I did it again with the right leg this time, and she  _ still  _ stopped me and said I had the wrong leg. Like, what the fuck? But alright, I thought she’d made an honest mistake, and I tried doing it with the left leg again. And then guess what?  _ Exactly _ , she told me I was doing it wrong. I mean, is this her sneaky way of telling me I shouldn’t have either my left  _ or  _ right leg doing the movement as if meaning I should have  _ zero  _ legs and therefore not be dancing at all? What does that -  _ hey! _ Are you even listening to me?”

Jisung startles at the sudden rise of Hyunjin’s voice and turns to give him an apologetic smile. Hyunjin narrows his eyes at him.

They’re both on Hyunjin’s bed, the laptop in which they had been watching a movie long forgotten in front of them. It’s probably way past the time Jisung should’ve left, but he just can’t bring himself to get up. And Hyunjin also doesn’t stop talking, so he assumes it’s okay to stay for a bit more.

“Sorry,” he starts sheepishly. “I was only partially listening. Just have a lot on my mind.”

Hyunjin shifts around until he’s in a half-sitting position, his body fully turned to Jisung. “Oh. You know you can talk to me about the things on your mind, right? You don’t have to sit here and listen to me complaining about dumb shit. Just tell me to shut the fuck up, and I’ll do it.”

Jisung leaves out an amused huff. “But I like listening to you complaining about things,” he whines. And he does like it. There’s something incredibly endearing about the way Hyunjin can rant for several minutes uninterrupted about pretty much anything that happened to him. The way he talks with his whole body, the way he wears his heart so obviously on his face, the way he’s so… open. It’s one of Jisung’s favorite things about Hyunjin. And it’s kind of a shame he can’t really be paying him full attention today. 

“And anyway,” Jisung continues. “It’s not like you can help me. It’s about one of my assignments for a class that’s eating me away.”

“Well, try me,” Hyunjin offers.

Jisung considers it for a moment. Maybe getting the opinion of someone else would help him at least get started. It certainly doesn’t hurt trying. 

“How would you describe falling in love?”

When Hyunjin says nothing and the silence between them starts growing awkward, Jisung quickly continues, “It’s for my songwriting class. The professor wants us to write a song about falling in love - way too cliché in my opinion, and he won’t let me write it about fictional characters, which is what I normally do. He told me it has to come from a genuine place in my heart or some bullshit like that, and I just can’t do it! I haven’t been able to write a single line without cringing at how awful it sounds. I’m gonna fail this fucking class, Hyunjin,” he groans and drops his head to his hands. 

When he raises his head after a while, he finds Hyunjin staring at him with arched eyebrows. “You need the lyrics to,” he does quotation marks with his fingers, “come from your heart, and you’re asking  _ me _ ?”

“What the hell, you literally just said you wanted to help?” 

With a laugh, Hyunjin nods, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say.” 

He would agree that yes, that was a very stupid thing to say, but something about the way Hyunjin is smiling makes him choke on the words he was about to say. So open, so expressive. It makes something twist inside him. 

“Alright,” Hyunjin starts. “I guess I wouldn’t describe falling in love in terms of like, those big romantic gestures or dramatic declarations of love. Maybe that’s where you’ve been getting it to sound cringy.” 

When Jisung thinks about it, Hyunjin’s right. He has been trying to write about big acts and declarations of eternal love, and it all sounds so empty to him. It sounds like the stuff he’s been seen repeated over and over again for his entire life in movies and songs. It doesn’t feel like something he would ever say. Not only that, but it doesn’t even feel like something real. 

“But instead,” Hyunjin continues, “when I think of falling in love, I think of the little things, as cheesy as it sounds. And before you say it, I  _ know _ there is a One Direction song about this,” he stops and huffs a small laugh. Jisung tries his best not to laugh as well, because yes, he  _ was  _ about to comment on it.

“But yeah, that’s how I see it. In the little things. I think of intimate smiles, of seemingly insignificant moments that are shared just between you and the other person, of the times when you see something and think of them... I don’t know, maybe it’s the lack of needing to overthink it. Well - there’s a lot of overthinking in the beginning, let’s be real, but once it becomes a comfortable feeling… it’s something that just  _ is _ .”

Jisung doesn’t know what to say. It’s not like he has any experience with this sort of thing, but the more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. Something easy. Something that shouldn’t be overthought. A simple, but strong melody, accompanied by words that carry more meaning than they appear to at first glance. The contradiction between simplicity and complexity.  _ Of course _ . He feels the corners of his lips slightly rising at the ideas that start popping up in his mind. 

“Sorry, this is stupid. I know it really won’t help you, you were right,” Hyunjin hurriedly says, and only then Jisung realizes he’s been in silence for longer than he should. 

He vehemently shakes his head. “No! Really, you helped a lot! I wasn’t saying anything because the ideas were just,” he makes a gesture with his hands to indicate his mind exploding, “in my head. I think I have enough to start working on it.”

The smile on Hyunjin’s face is infectious. “Yeah?”

Jisung mirrors it. “Yeah!”

“Then you should probably get going,” Hyunjin says while stretching up. “Don’t wanna get in the way of your inspiration streak.”

  
  


He goes to sleep at four in the morning with two verses successfully written, and rough notes about the parts he still has to write. Something tells him his professor will be satisfied with the result of this one.

And if Jisung’s being honest, he’ll probably be too.

* * *

Just like that, the early-March cold fades into something a bit less cold. And despite the weather, Jisung feels more at peace and warmer on the inside than he has in a long time. 

This peace lasts until an especially freezing afternoon on March 19th when Jisung gets a text that makes him promptly jolt out of his bed.

**dog man (5:21 p.m)**

_ hyunjin’s birthday is tomorrow. we’re throwing him a surprise party at 8. don’t tell him anything, or i’ll hunt you down. _

Without bothering to give this  _ atrocious  _ message a reply, Jisung gets out of his room and angrily marches toward Seungmin’s apartment. The  _ nerve  _ Seungmin has still astonished Jisung to this day. 

Luckily, both Jeongin and Hyunjin are still in class and will not get to witness what’s about to happen. Once in front of the door, he presses the doorbell without interruption, hoping that the incessant noise will annoy the fuck out of Seungmin.

It works. He opens the door with an irritated expression that Jisung is very proud of, and only then Jisung removes his finger from the doorbell. “What the fuck was that for, Jisung?”

“What do you fucking  _ mean  _ it’s tomorrow?” He snaps at him and shoves his phone with the screen still on the incriminating text message on Seungmin’s face.

“Get that thing off me,” Seungmin groans and pushes the phone away. Then, with a tired sigh, he continues, “What I meant is that Hyunjin’s  _ birthday  _ is  _ tomorrow _ ,” he explains condescendingly, almost as if Jisung is an annoying kid he’s forced to deal with. “Why are you even making a big deal out of this? Jeongin and I  _ just  _ decided we’re making him a surprise party. I’m even being a good friend here and letting you know in advance.” 

“Is this what you call in  _ advance _ ?” Jisung shrieks. “Seungmin, it’s 5 in the afternoon. What the fuck. What am I even gonna buy him?”

Seungmin only shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Jisung feels like ripping off his hair. 

Seeming to take pity in Jisung’s frustrated state, at last, Seungmin puts a hand on his shoulder and continues in a softer tone, “Look, Hyunjin doesn’t care about these things. You could pick a rock from the street and tell him it reminded you about how he’s strong and persistent or some shit like that, and he’ll keep the goddamn rock for the rest of his life. That’s just who he is. You shouldn’t worry about it, he’ll love whatever you give him.”

Defeated, he slumps his shoulders and pouts. “Will you at least help me? We could go to the mall right now. And before you say no like I  _ know  _ you’re about to do, I know you don’t have any more classes today.”

He watches as Seungmin mentally runs over his possible choices for a while until he finally nods. “Okay, you win. We can go. I’ll just grab my wallet.”

He grins in victory. Hey, maybe this isn’t the complete lost cause he thought it would be!

* * *

It is a completely lost cause. 

Jisung was positively sure that they would arrive at the mall, Seungmin would get him to a store, indicate something he knows Hyunjin would love, and Jisung would buy it. As simple as that. But boy, was he wrong. 

To be fair, this  _ is  _ what initially happens. But the critical part here is that Jisung never likes any of Seungmin’s suggestions. 

After Seungmin’s fifth failed attempt, he declares he’s done and takes them to the food court. “For fuck’s sake, Jisung,” he starts when they’re both sat down at a table and each with bubble tea in their hands. “Why couldn’t you just buy that sweatshirt I showed you? Hyunjin’s always complaining he doesn’t have enough sweatshirts, so he  _ would  _ appreciate it. Or even that one manga. He’s a big fan of that series.”

Jisung takes a large sip and comforts himself in the pleasing sensation of biting into the boba. “I don’t know,” he eventually says. “It just seems very boring, I guess. It’s nothing special.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Why does it have to be special when it’s something actually useful? The special part is in its usefulness.”

That makes him frown. “Because birthdays are special? Because it’s the first time I’m spending Hyunjin’s birthday with him, so I want to give him something that clearly says I’m happy to have him in my life. Something special. That goes beyond it being useful.”

The expression Seungmin gives him is one of surprise and contemplation. He stares at Jisung with wide eyes that Jisung’s sure are trying to get a glimpse of his soul. It makes him shiver. “I see,” is what he says, after a moment in silence. “If that’s the case, I don’t think I should be the one guiding you here. You should go for whatever feels right without me interfering.”

Jisung knows Seungmin’s right, but that doesn’t make things any easier. “Ughhh,” he groans loudly. “I hate it when you’re super logical and rational about things.” 

Seungmin responds only by smirking smugly. 

“What are  _ you  _ giving him, by the way?” Jisung asks as they exit the food court after finishing their bubble tea. 

“A diary.”

Jisung scoffs. “A  _ diary _ ? What are you, twelve?”

With a pointed glare, Seungmin replies, “Hyunjin journals every single day ever since we were kids. If you have a problem with that, you can take it to him.”

In Jisung’s defense, he had no idea. This new information, however, adds another layer to the Hyunjin in his mind, and Jisung stores it on the side for later inspection. Just as he’s about to apologize (because he has nothing against people who write on diaries!), his eyes catch sight of something on a store display that makes him stop in his tracks. Seungmin continues walking for a while until he realizes Jisung’s not by his side anymore and turns around with a questioning glance.

Getting closer to the glass, he motions for Seungmin to follow him. “This is it. It’s perfect,” he points at the delicate sunflower necklace on display and smiles. “Hyunjin’s always telling me how he loves that one sunflower portrait in my living room. And he’s also always wearing jewelry. Do you think he’d like it?” He asks Seungmin.

Raising his head up to look at the name of the store instead, Seungmin asks, “Are you sure you have the money? The stuff here is pretty expensive, Jisung.”

Checking the price tag of the necklace beside it on the display, Jisung finds out it is indeed very fucking expensive, more specifically four times the price he was willing to spend in the first place. He grimaces internally.

“Yeah, I have the money,” he lies. “I was saving up for something else, but I really would like to give him this necklace. Do you think he’d like it?” He asks again and turns to Seungmin with a pout.

Seungmin now carefully looks at the necklace, and Jisung notices something shift in his expression, the corner of his lips lifting just a tiny bit and his eyes softening. Shortly after, he directs his glance to Jisung, smiling at him warmly and giving him a cryptic look Jisung can’t quite figure out. “Yes, Jisung. I know he’ll love it.”

Then that settles it. 

Five minutes pass by, and they finally leave the shopping mall, Jisung contently holding the wrapped up jewelry box. He doesn’t even care if he’s a step closer to bankruptcy than ever before. If he’s correctly visualizing Hyunjin’s expression when he sees it tomorrow, then it’s all worth it. 

* * *

“Jisung, for fuck’s sake, Seungmin just texted me saying we have precisely 7 minutes to get there, or  _ else _ ,” Changbin tells him from where he’s standing by Jisung’s door frame. “Do you want him to come here and drag us there himself?”

Without looking at Changbin, Jisung replies with a frustrated noise and continues to desperately look at the pile of clothes spread all over his bed, hoping that just by staring at the mess, he’ll find something decent to wear. 

Stepping inside the room and going toward Jisung, Changbin tries again, “Why can’t you just go like this? You look exactly like you always do when we all hang out.”

With a desperate groan, he turns to his friend. “That’s easily the worst thing you could’ve said, hyung. Now I’ll have to change  _ again _ .” 

“I don’t follow? What’s so special about tonight that’s making you overthink your fucking clothes? I’m pretty sure you wore the same shirt for my last two birthday parties. Which is also the same shirt you wore to Jeongin’s birthday last month.”

Again with the fucking  _ special  _ thing. Why can’t things just  _ be  _ special without him having to explain himself all the time? It’s special simply because it  _ is _ . And that’s it, plain and simple.

“I wore the same outfits for your birthdays because you’re you. And Jeongin’s Jeongin. There was no reason for me to overthink it.”

Changbin raises an eyebrow. “And what makes Hyunjin any different?”

Feeling his ears heating up, Jisung lowers his head and pretends to choose something from the clothes on his bed. “Don’t make this weird, hyung, it’s not like that. Now, if you won’t help me, just please let me be. I promise I won’t take too long.”

He hears Changbin sigh. “Keep the shirt you’re wearing. You can wear it with that one denim jacket and those black ripped jeans that make your nonexistent ass look good.”

Pausing to contemplate it for a second, Jisung quickly concludes that Changbin is, in fact, right. He locates the pieces of clothing and grins. “Thank you, hyung! Though I have to say I’m  _ very  _ uncomfortable by the idea that you look at my ass enough to know which pants make it look good.”

“No problem, Jisungie,” he comes closer to Jisung and slaps him on the previously said nonexistent ass. “You have three minutes to come meet me in the living room, otherwise I’ll leave you to deal with Seungmin by yourself.” And then he leaves.

* * *

They manage to get to their friends’ apartment with one minute to spare. Seungmin was  _ just  _ about to go drag them when they finally arrive, a fact that makes Jisung send a silent thank you to whichever god is on his side today. 

Everyone seems to be there already, the sound of five boys in the middle of at least three different parallel conversations filling the room. Jisung quickly goes to sit beside Felix on the couch, greeting him with a side hug. Changbin goes to sit on the floor next to Chan. 

They still have at least half an hour until Hyunjin arrives, a time slot that they occupy by laughing and lightly bickering at each other while attacking the snacks stash Seungmin and Jeongin bought for the occasion. He makes friends with a Pringles can and promises to stay with it till the end -- the end being five minutes later when he sadly finishes it.

When Hyunjin opens the door and they all scream “ _ surprise! _ ”, Jisung watches in amusement as Hyunjin startles so hard that he falls to the ground, a hand pressed to his chest. Taking in the scene with a bewildered expression, Hyunjin cries out, “What the fuck! I thought I was about to be mugged or something.”

It’s Jeongin who goes over to Hyunjin and offers a hand to help him up. “You’re way too dramatic for your own good, hyung. But I won’t judge you today only because it’s your birthday.”

Hyunjin takes his hand and gets up. 

Appearing to get over his initial shock, Hyunjin roams his eyes through the room, fondness dripping from his gaze. “Wow, guys. You’re all here! I thought I was just gonna eat ramen with Seungmin and Jeongin.”

That prompts them to move from where they were hiding and go towards Hyunjin.

Chan’s the one who gets there first. “Of course, we are!” He says with a chuckle. Then he ruffles Hyunjin’s hair and hugs him. “Happy birthday, bro.”

“Group hug!” Felix yells and proceeds to tackle Hyunjin and Chan. (It’s honestly a miracle they don’t fall to the ground).

And in a matter of seconds, they’re all wrapped around each other in a mess of laughter and tangled limbs. “I can’t breathe,” Hyunjin gasps out.

“Who the fuck is grabbing my butt?” Jeongin asks indignantly.

“Ooo _ kay _ , I guess we’re done,” Chan says, and the group hug is immediately broken.

When Seungmin comes from the kitchen holding the birthday cake, he says, “We’re still gonna eat ramen, though. It’s just gonna be more of a bitch to do the dishes later. He stops in front of Hyunjin -- who still hasn’t moved from the spot he’s standing in the living room -- and smiles. “Happy birthday.”

After that, things go smoothly. Having blown the candles of his cake, Hyunjin finally sets his bag aside and goes to take a seat on the couch. The rest of them follow suit, Jisung sitting beside Hyunjin and patting him on the thigh, a sharp grin on his face.

And it’s just like any other time they hang out. Minho fills them in on his latest complaints about being an employee at The Maze (that apparently his boss wants them to wear mouse ears now to fit the concept better), Hyunjin tells them about his dance instructor from hell, as he’s now lovingly calling her; Felix talks about a new game he’s obsessed with these days. Jisung is satisfied to sit back and take in everything, offering his jokes and remarks whenever he feels the need to.

It’s comfortable. Safe.

Until Changbin suggests that Hyunjin opens their gifts, and Jisung starts sweating.

You see, Jisung didn’t consider this possibility. He thought he’d left the package there and Hyunjin would open it after they were all gone and never speak a word of it. Just like that.

But of  _ course _ , Changbin had to open his mouth and ruin it.

Jisung makes up his mind to save his for last. 

“You should open mine first,” Minho offers. “I actually got you two gifts,” he says and hands Hyunjin an envelope and a square box wrapped in red wrapping paper.

When Hyunjin takes it, looking curiously at the box, Minho adds, “Open the bigger one first.”

The smirk on Minho’s face is a clear sign that he’s very proud of whatever it is he put in that box.

The sour look on Hyunjin’s face as soon as he takes a look at what’s inside is enough of an answer. 

“It’s a tissue box,” Hyunjin deadpans, looking at Minho with empty eyes.

Minho starts laughing. “It’s a reminder! Now open the other one. I swear this one’s an actual gift.”

“Y’all are so weird,” Jeongin points out, and Jisung has to agree.

The gift ends up being a ticket to this apparently very limited dance workshop with a famous choreographer that Hyunjin wanted to go to. Jisung knows shit about dance workshops, but he can only guess it’s a big thing from the way Hyunjin gasps and widens his eyes. Minho looks even more satisfied than before.

Jeongin gives him two tickets for this drive-in cinema that will be playing reruns of old horror movies (“You can take whoever you want along, but  _ please  _ not me,” Jeongin says); Felix gives him five volumes of Haikyuu manga, Chan gives him a new beanie and Changbin gives him a sweatshirt.

“I’ve already given him mine, so there’s only you left, Jisung,” Seungmin says.

Oh no.  _ There goes nothing! _

“Um,” he starts while grabbing the tiny wrapped box from the table in front of him. He feels his hands clammier than usual. “I didn’t really know what to buy you, and Seungmin only told me about your birthday  _ yesterday _ ,” he quickly turns to fix Seungmin with an incriminating glare. “But yeah, I saw this and it reminded me of you.”

When he raises his eyes to meet Hyunjin’s, Jisung finds him looking at him with a tiny, amused smile. “Well. You gonna give it to me, or what?”

Mentally slapping himself on the face, Jisung wordlessly hands the box to Hyunjin. He commits to not saying a word.

His plan lasts for about three seconds until watching Hyunjin slowly ripping the wrapping paper off becomes way too unbearable. So he does what he does best: blabbering his mouth off as a way to deal with awkward situations.

“I don’t know if you’re gonna like it, and it’s okay if you don’t! You have ten days to take it back and exchange it for something else. Just be careful not to choose something more expensive than this one, because I really don’t want you to pay for your own birthday gift, you know? That kinda defeats the whole - 

Jisung instantly stops when he sees Hyunjin’s opened the box. Chan, who’s sitting on the other side next to Hyunjin, blows a low whistle.

And then everyone gets up and gathers behind Hyunjin on the couch to take a peek. They all  _ ooooh  _ and  _ aaaaah  _ when they see what’s inside the jewelry box. Hyunjin still doesn’t say anything, only stares at the necklace inside the box.

“What do you think?” Jisung forces out.

Thankfully, that’s enough to prompt an answer out of him. “Jisung, this is beautiful. You didn’t have to,” he breathes out in a quiet voice.

“Really? You can tell me if you don’t like it, I won’t-

“Shut up, I love it,” Hyunjin snaps his eyes up, and Jisung knows that he means it. Relief comes down his body, making him finally relax.

Taking the necklace off the velvet holder, Hyunjin asks, “Can you help me put it on?”

“Sure!”

He takes the necklace from Hyunjin, and Hyunjin turns his back to him, pushing his hair out of the way. Jisung quickly clasps it in place, and Hyunjin turns back to face him.

“Does it look good?”

Jisung feels something tightening in his chest. “Yeah,” he says softly. “You look good.”

Hyunjin gingerly pinches the flower pendant between his fingers. “Thank you.”

A loud cough makes both Jisung and Hyunjin startle. “Alright!” Chan starts with a clipped voice. “I guess we can now move on from… whatever  _ that  _ was.”

“Agreed,” Jeongin says while returning to his seat.

Quickly averting his glance away from Hyunjin, me meets Seungmin's eyes and he offers Jisung a pair of thumbs up.

For some reason, Jisung feels his face burning. He wills his brain not to overthink about just happened. 

Things start derailing when Seungmin remembers to bring the alcohol bottles to the living room. 

A few drinks in, Minho suggests they play a drinking game.

“Come  _ on _ , hyung,” Jisung groans. “Aren’t we a bit too old for that?”

“Hannie, you’re literally 19, what the hell,” Minho points out. “I guess we can all still use the excuse of being dumb and drunk to expose ourselves in front of our friends, yes? Everyone okay with never have I ever?”

Everyone is okay with it. Jisung, once again, gives in to peer pressure.

They all arrange themselves into a circle on the floor, Jisung sitting between Jeongin and Changbin.

Felix goes first. “Never have I ever skinny-dipped!” And then Jisung doesn’t even have the mind to focus on the game.

Games like these always make him uncomfortable. The questions are always on the sexual side of things -- which he gets! -- and he always feels inadequate for not having experienced what most people his age already have. He feels worthless; feels like he’s not living his life correctly. So don’t blame him if he takes some shots when he’s not supposed to just to make himself feel better. No one has to know.

(He doesn’t feel better).

His attention is brought back to the room when he hears Changbin clearing his throat and humming in consideration next to him. He sees his friend taking his time thinking what to say, roaming his eyes through all of them with a wicked look. 

“Never have I ever kissed anyone in this room,” is what he ends up saying.

_ Pff _ . Changbin gave all of them this round for free. What a ridiculous assumption to make. Jisung won’t even have to fake this one. He hardly ever kisses people in general, much less his homies. Not at all. And he’s sure everyone here’s on the same page. 

But just as he’s about to scoff at Changbin, Jisung briefly directs his glance to Hyunjin and sees that he’s looking at Seungmin, the two of them sharing an amused look. And before Jisung could try and understand what was happening, they both take their respective shots at the same time. 

Jisung gapes. He feels a part of his brain short-circuiting. 

_ What the fuck? _

Only belatedly he realizes he said (more specifically,  _ yelled _ ) that aloud, making everyone turn to face him with quizzical looks. Feeling his face flush, he coughs.

“Um. Sorry about that,” he lets out an embarrassed laugh and scratches the back of his neck. It feels hot. Hoping to be convincing in his nonchalance, he continues, “But yeah, when did…  _ that  _ happen?”

“It was a long time ago,” Seungmin starts. “We were fourteen, I guess? Yeah. And neither of us have had our first kisses yet, so we made a pact to be each other’s first, only so that we would already know how to kiss before we had our  _ actual  _ first kisses. We thought we’d be cheating the system this way.”

Jisung hears his friends cooing at this confession, but he can only blink confusedly, his eyes going from Seungmin to Hyunjin repeatedly. 

“It was so awful we never attempted again,” Hyunjin adds. 

“Yeah, it was pretty fucking gross,” Seungmin laughs.

Gasping in mock offense, Hyunjin reaches out and punches Seungmin lightly on the shoulder. “It was the _ best thing _ your lips have ever touched to this day, don’t even try to deny it. The technique was bad, sure, but the quality and the potential have always been there,” he drunkenly slurs out and then starts giggling at Seungmin’s twisted nose.

The short-circuit in his mind blows into a raging explosion, the fire consuming everything inside of him until he’s reduced to a pile of nothingness on the floor.

He registers noise around him, but Jisung, for some reason, can’t seem to take his eyes from Hyunjin’s lips to pay any attention to what’s happening. Hyunjin’s plump lips. Hyunjin’s lips curled up into a grin. Hyunjin’s bottom lip between his teeth. Hyunjin’s lips that have been kissed by Seungmin. Jisung vaguely wonders if they’re as soft as they look. 

The trance-like state he’s in gets shattered when he notices Hyunjin staring back at him with a confused expression. Jisung immediately averts his eyes away.

And then he realizes what he’s been thinking about. 

What the hell? What the fuck is wrong with him? He must be drunker than he thought he was, that has to be it.

Not wanting to think about it any longer, he quickly grabs the full shot glass in front of him and downs it in a second. The burn is  _ almost  _ enough to distract him from his thoughts. Well, Jisung will need a bit more than that, then. 

After that, the night passes by in a blur. He makes a constant effort to forget about  _ those  _ thoughts, resorting to alcohol whenever they happen. A tiny voice in the back of his mind, perhaps his conscience, tells him he’s drinking a bit too much, but _ fuck that _ . It’s justified.

They end up playing a few more rounds until Minho declares he’s too bored to continue. And from then on, they spend the last moments of the party lounging on the couch, all eight of them huddled into a space that was  _ not  _ made for eight people, talking about meaningless things and laughing at nothing. Jisung’s drunken mind reminds him of how much he loves being around his friends, and he feels like crying for a moment. 

“Guys, I love y’all so much. You know that, right? Our friendship's just so beautiful, I could like,” he hiccups. “Do anything for you. Just ask me, and I’ll fucking do it.” he slurs out.

“Dude, you’re fucking hammered,” he hears Felix giggling from somewhere behind him.

“I know, right!” He giggles back.

When the sun starts showing the first signs of rising, Jisung figures he should probably leave. Everyone’s already in varied states of almost-sleeping, so he untangles himself from Chan and gets up from the couch, feeling the world dangerously spinning for a moment. He doesn’t bother to tell Changbin he’s leaving. 

He miraculously makes the way back without falling even once, and when he gets to his apartment, Jisung feels the tiredness he wasn’t feeling before hit him like a train. He doesn’t even manage to change clothes before he drops to his bed and is instantly out to the world. 

* * *

On Mondays and Wednesdays (the days to which Jisung refers as his “ _ Real Adult Days _ ”), Jisung works as a private piano teacher for two kids, one kindergartner boy, and one 11-year-old girl. He has no idea what motivated the parents to trust  _ him  _ of all people to be in charge of teaching their kids  _ something, _ but despite all odds, it’s been five months since he started, and so far, so good. The kids seem to like him for some reason, and Jisung’s been finding himself more and more attached to them, as well. Seeing their constant improvement alongside their love for music growing each week makes Jisung feel as if he’s part of something special in those kids’ lives. Also, both their parents are rich as fuck, so the paycheck doesn’t disappoint either. 

When he’s walking back home from his last student’s house on Monday, Jisung remembers with a pang that he has some books to get from the library. 

Silly past-him thought that studying Music would free him from having to go through absurd amounts of textbooks, but now present-him can only desperately laugh at the list of six books he has to  _ somehow  _ read before the semester is over. In these moments, he misses his past naivety and ignorance towards the  _ harsh  _ reality of life. It was good not knowing shit.

Walking inside the library, Jisung is met with the chilly slap from the air conditioner right across his face. He starts then to psyche himself up not to turn around and leave.

Reason number one as to why he hates coming to the library: it’s always disgustingly cold, no matter how the weather is. There’s even this challenge between the students that whoever manages to find the controller for the air conditioner and change the temperature once and for all will get benefits from the whole student body. Needless to say, the controller has never been found and remains to be one of the biggest mysteries at the university. Some people have even tried buying several different controllers, but no good results have even been achieved. 

Crossing his arms to his chest in a hopeless attempt to retain more warmth, Jisung furthers into the library through a sea of crowded tables, wanting to get away from them as fast as he possibly can. 

Reason number two as to why he hates coming to the library: the people. Just like any other library, the number one rule here is to make absolute silence. But that doesn’t stop people from whispering amongst themselves  _ very  _ audibly. The murmurs all-around drive Jisung to the brick of insanity, so he avoids at all costs to step foot into this place unless it’s absolutely needed. Which unfortunately is today’s case. 

Thankfully he’s able to find the books he needs quickly enough. After he’s done checking-out with the librarian, Jisung makes his way back through the tables, averting his eyes to the floor.

That is until he looks up for a second and sees something that makes him immediately stop. 

Hyunjin’s there, sitting on a table to the far right, which isn’t surprising at all, but sitting beside him is  _ Hyemi _ , the girl who ghosted Jisung a while ago. They’re talking in hushed tones, their faces close,  _ too  _ close. Jisung frowns. When Hyemi touches Hyunjin’s hand and smiles, Jisung feels something ugly growing inside of him, eating him from the inside. He can only stand there, watching.

And then Hyunjin’s eyes meet his. He smiles in recognition at Jisung and waves a hand, but Jisung only frowns harder at him. Deciding to pretend he never saw Hyunjin there, he turns and walks away, promptly leaving the library.

He runs back home, trying to see if that makes the bad feelings go away. It doesn’t seem to work.

Are Hyemi and Hyunjin together? They have to be, it’s the only possible scenario. They seemed way too cozy to be just friends, and this idea makes Jisung want to scream. The fact that Hyunjin didn’t even tell him he’s seeing someone makes something break somewhere in his chest. He thought they were friends.

Despite acknowledging what he’s feeling, Jisung knows it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Why would he be jealous of Hyemi? They weren’t even together, and Jisung doesn’t even miss talking to her. But still. He’s feeling jealous anyway. There must be something in the confusing maze of his feelings that makes sense. He just can’t seem to point it out. 

What does Hyunjin have that Jisung doesn’t have? Sure, he’s taller, more handsome and better with people. But is Jisung  _ that  _ undesirable, then? There must be something wrong with him, after all. He runs and runs until breathing is too hard.

Getting home, Jisung makes a beeline to his room. Changbin gives him a questioning look from where he’s laying on the couch, but Jisung ignores him. He’s glad Changbin doesn’t say anything. 

At last in his room, Jisung slams the door shut and carelessly throws the books on his desk. Not having the mind to be productive, he puts on his earphones and lays in bed. And then he plays one of his playlists at full-sound, closing his eyes and forcing the thoughts away, leaving only music in his mind. Jisung feels his phone vibrating with notifications but doesn’t dare to look at it. 

Eventually, he falls asleep. 

Until he jolts awake when he hears his door opening and quickly being shut. He removes his earphone when he sees who’s there. 

“What the fuck was that, Jisung?”

Not looking at Hyunjin in the eyes, Jisung sits up and feigns confusion. “What are you talking about?”

He watches as Hyunjin gapes at him in disbelief and crosses his arms. “You gotta be kidding me? Why are you ignoring me?”

Jisung directs his gaze to his fingers, picking on his nails. He shrugs. “Why would I ignore you? I must’ve not seen you there. You know how it is, my eyesight sucks and I wasn’t wearing my lenses.”

“You were wearing glasses,” Hyunjin deadpans. Jisung tries not to wince.

“So now you’re lying at me? When I haven’t even done anything to deserve this kind of treatment?”

That makes Jisung scoff, still not looking at Hyunjin. 

“Oh, so there  _ is  _ something, huh? If you could please enlighten me?”

Jisung continues prodding at his nails for a while until he makes up his mind and looks up at Hyunjin for the first time since he got there. “I didn’t know you knew Hyemi.”

Hyunjin frowns in confusion. “ _ Hyemi?” _ He shrieks. “So this is about Hyemi? We share one class, and we’re working on a project together. We’re friends. I didn’t even know  _ you  _ knew her.”

“I’ve been on a few dates with her,” he says, trying to sound uninterested. It’s a lie because he’s only been on a single failed date with her, but Hyunjin doesn’t need to know that. It’s beside the point.

“Okay? And how’s that any related to you being mad at me?” Hyunjin asks. And then his eyes widen. “Holy shit. You’re jealous.”

That makes Jisung get up, crossing his arms defensively. “I’m not fucking jealous, what the fuck,” he lies again. “I just don’t like that you didn’t tell me you were dating.”

Hyunjin gapes impossibly wider at him. And then, to Jisung’s surprise, he starts laughing. “Dude, what the fuck,” he says between huffs of laughter. “We’re not dating.” Jisung has no idea what’s going on. What the hell can be so funny about this?

“Um, yes, you are? There’s no need to lie, I saw you two being all close and shit. I’m not mad, I just want to know.”

Hyunjin’s laughter grows stronger. He leans his back on the closed door and drops his head a bit, his hair forming a curtain over his face. Jisung starts getting annoyed.

Recomposing himself after a while, Hyunjin starts, “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. This is so dumb. I knew you were oblivious but  _ damn _ .”

Is Hyunjin mocking him now? Jisung flares at him, “What are you talking about? You calling me dumb?”

Walking toward Jisung, Hyunjin sits on the edge of his bed and pulls at Jisung’s arm until he’s sitting as well. Jisung stares quizzically at him.

“Jisung,” he starts. “Trust me, there’s no way I’d be dating Hyemi.”

“Why?” Jisung frowns. “She’s nice and pretty.”

Without missing a beat, Hyunjin continues, “Because she’s a girl.”

“Yeah, I get it, she’s a girl, but -”

Jisung stops. “Oh,” he blinks and looks at Hyunjin with new eyes. “ _ Oh? _ ”

“Yup. I thought you already knew it, but I’m gay.”

Jisung feels the world stopping for a moment.

He had no idea?

“You’re gay. Gay.  _ Wow _ , of course. Yeah, gay. You’re  _ gay _ . Wow,” he dumbly rambles on. He can’t help it, his brain still hasn’t caught up fully to this information yet. And he’s also sure a part of said brain has been fried.

“Am I the last one to know about this?” Jisung asks when the thought hits him.

“Pretty much.”

“Damn.”

Hyunjin squints at him. “This changes nothing between us, right? Wait, you don’t have any issues with this, do you?”

“No!” Jisung quickly exclaims and shakes his head. “No of course not. I mean, no, things won’t change, and no, I don’t have any issues. Absolutely not, what the hell. Felix is bi and he’s one of my best friends, I love him with my whole heart. I’m not  _ that  _ kind of an asshole.”

With an amused smirk that makes Jisung’s ears heat up a bit, Hyunjin says, “Alright, then. I’m glad to have cleared that up,” he giggles. Jisung laughs back at him, but it feels hollow.

Saying that he has another class to go to, Hyunjin leaves shortly after. With him being gone, Jisung lies back on his bed and stares at the ceiling. As it seems to be a common theme with him lately, he feels as confused as ever. Not a single thought makes sense. 

He thinks back to what Hyunjin said and feels like this  _ does  _ change things between them somehow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can somebody Please tell jisung he has a crush


	6. something warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long *hides under a rock*
> 
> This is more of a filler chapter, the calm before Things start happening ;)

Things do change between Jisung and Hyunjin. 

Not the type of change that’s big, that inspires heartfelt metaphors and poetic analogies, but one that’s small, almost unnoticeable, instead. Jisung’s not even sure this shift has been noticed by his friends at all, but he, for sure, couldn’t miss it. After all, he  _ feels  _ different, somehow, so that has to mean something. 

For starters, the two of them start hanging out together more often outside their apartments and without the presence of their other friends. Sure, they still have their routine of having breakfast together on Sundays, with the addition of occasionally watching something on Hyunjin’s laptop when they’re both too bored to do anything else, but that’s as far as their one-on-one moments would go.

So Jisung is more than happy when this changes. 

And  _ of course _ it starts with a challenge. 

“The more you complain about it, the healthier my body gets,” Hyunjin says one morning between a mouthful of cereal. It’s one of the days when he gets back from his run too tired and too gross to be useful in the kitchen, so they content themselves with eating dry cereal, sitting cross-legged side by side on Jisung’s couch. 

“Yeah man, I know it’s healthy, but still! You wake up at ass o’clock in the morning on a Sunday to  _ run _ ? That’s disgusting,” Jisung argues.

Hyunjin has constantly been nagging on Jisung about the lack of physical exercises in his life these days, claiming he’s gonna die at the age of 40 if he continues like this. Jisung, on the other hand, would rather die than have his precious sleep disturbed by unpleasant things, so he expresses it by telling Hyunjin exactly how unhinged he thinks he is for doing it. It’s safe to say they never reach an agreement whenever this type of disagreement arises. 

“You literally woke up at four a.m. last week to watch the premiere of that anime you were watching,” Hyunjin deadpans. “I think in the scale of disgustingness, you win.”

At that, Jisung sits up straighter. “ _ Excuse me _ , but anime gives me serotonin, which is a  _ human need _ . It’s just as much a physiological need as exercise, so do not come at me, Hwang Hyunjin,” he glares at him in all seriousness. 

He expects Hyunjin to retaliate, but instead, he laughs, all open and soft. Jisung blinks at him a couple of times in confusion, but then he quickly feels the edges of his own lips rising almost involuntarily in response.

“Ah, Ji, you’re so fucking weird,” Hyunjin shakes his head in a disbelieving manner as a small smile still lingers on his face. Jisung feels something warm on his chest. 

“So do you admit defeat, Hyunjin-ssi?” Jisung puts a closed fist in front of Hyunjin’s mouth like a microphone and grins at him.

With a dramatic sigh, Hyunjin says, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll give this one to you.”

They fall into a comfortable silence after that, which lasts until they finish their bowls.

“No, but really,” Hyunjin starts. “You should come on a morning run with me sometime.”

“Aaaahh Hyunjin, just let me be!” Jisung groans loudly. “It’s not like I’ve never done exercises before. I even have abs, you wanna see it? People who never exercised in their lives don’t have abs!” 

Okay, to say Jisung still had the abs he had when he was a dedicated gym-goer is honestly a bit of a stretch, but hey! There’s still proof of what used to be a defined abdomen back in the day, although it can hardly be called abs anymore. Hyunjin, however, doesn’t need to know about this tiny detail that changes absolutely nothing in his point.

“Shut up, I don’t wanna see your abs,” Hyunjin frowns his forehead in disgust. Jisung can see he’s trying not to smile, though. “And that’s not even how it works. Having a fit body doesn’t mean you’re healthy.”

“And the thing is that I’m just too busy these days,” Jisung continues, ignoring Hyunjin. “You know how it is. When I’m not at the studio, I’m studying. So what can I say? I’m a busy man. I’m sure I would absolutely excel at any given sport, I just don’t have time,” he finishes with a shrug. Jisung’s bullshitting, and he knows it. He just hopes Hyunjin buys it and leaves him alone.

“Oh, so if you’re such a prodigy in sports, it wouldn’t hurt you to come with me just once next week, right? And doing it on a Sunday wouldn’t compromise your extremely busy life, I’m sure.”

Jisung squints at him, the little shit. He absolutely will  _ not  _ fall to this bait. 

“No,” it’s all he says. 

Hyunjin rises a defiant brow. “Then you admit you were bullshitting me and that you’re not a sports ace?”

_ Damn it _ . It’s either assuring his integrity as a proud human being or getting what he wants. 

He lets out a breath in defeat. “At what time should I wake up?”

Hyunjin beams at him instantly. 

* * *

Jisung gets woken up at exactly 7:30 in the morning next Sunday by his phone ringing. 

“Time to wake up, sunshine!” Hyunjin says as soon as Jisung picks up the call. He instantly grimaces at how  _ awake  _ Hyunjin sounds. No one should be allowed to be happy at seven o’fucking-clock in the morning.

“Fuck you,” he grunts in response.

“You have 15 minutes to get ready, alright?”

“I hate you so fucking much right now, Hyunjin.”

He hears the faint sound of laughter on the other side. “Love you too, Ji! And if you’re not ready in 15 minutes, I  _ will  _ drag you from your bed, don’t try me.” And then Hyunjin hangs up.

Jisung falls back into the inviting warmth of his pillow and considers taking his chances with Hyunjin. Maybe he’s just trying to be intimidating. And it’s not like he has a key to the apartment. He’ll definitely understand that Jisung couldn’t keep himself awake at such a dire hour. 

But again, as much as Jisung would prefer staying, he’s a man of his word. And to be fair, despite being guilt-tripped, he  _ did  _ accept it. And he doesn’t even mind it that much if he’s being honest. He could be waking up to worse things. 

So he reluctantly pushes his comforter away and gets up once and for all, taking a few seconds to look at his tempting bed with regret, promising that he will be back soon, but soon draws his eyes away from it and heads to his wardrobe to get some clothes. 

When he’s done, Jisung leaves his apartment after writing a note to Changbin. Just as he’s locking the door, he sees Hyunjin coming down the stairs. 

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Hyunjin says when he gets to Jisung. “And here I was thinking about possible bribes to get you to come with me.”

Jisung raises his head at that with curiosity. “What were you gonna bribe me with?”

“I’m planning on keeping it for future opportunities, so it’s all confidential information for now,” Hyunjin grins.

“Wow, so now I’m an experiment rat. I’m sure Minho-hyung will love to hear this.”

With a soft laugh, Hyunjin grabs his arm and starts pulling him toward the stairs. “You’re gonna have to talk  _ and  _ walk at the same time, otherwise we’ll just be standing like idiots. Think you can do that?”

“ _ Pff _ . What do you take me for? I’ll let you know I’m great at multitasking. The  _ best _ , actually. Honestly, your lack of faith in me hurts my heart very deeply,” Jisung presses a hand to his chest and looks up at Hyunjin with betrayal dripping from his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, save the dramatics for later,” Hyunjin waves him off with a flair of hands. “Now, I have to ask you. Are you really that afraid you’ll be getting hit by a car? You know that there’ll be no cars on campus today, right?”

Jisung blinks at him in confusion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about?”

Hyunjin makes a vague gesture to indicate Jisung’s whole being. Jisung looks down, still confused. “Your clothes!” And then Jisung understands.

“I’ve never seen you wearing such… fluorescent clothes before. I’m pretty sure you can be easily spotted from a mile away.”

Jisung only now realizes that he managed to pick up a neon green sweatshirt and orange sweatpants without batting an eye. He looks as headache-inducing as one can possibly be.

“Uhh, let’s just say I wasn’t fully awake when I got dressed,” he says with a sheepish laugh. Hyunjin simply laughs and tells him he’s a mess  — to which he has to agree. 

Once they leave the building, Hyunjin stops. “Okay, so this is our starting point. Instead of running, I think it’d be better for us just to jog for today. We’re gonna quickly warm-up, and then we’ll be off to the campus, jog around for a while and come back. That alright?” He asks, already pulling one folded leg up and holding it in position. Jisung mirrors him.

“Yeah, it’s alright.”

And soon, they start jogging toward their destination. Jisung has to admit, there’s something incredibly alluring about the early morning. This particular feeling could be due to the sight of the rising sun painting the sky with dreamlike hues of orange and pink, the promise of a lively blue sure in the background; the still lingering smell of last night’s rain in the air, or even the sound of the wind soothing him like a natural lullaby; it could also be due to the lazy Sunday morning activity, the half-asleep people walking their dogs, the kids laughing at their parents. The world is coming to another start, and so is everything else. He’s surrounded by certainties, by new beginnings. And in the middle of it all is Hyunjin, bright and alive. Another certainty.

Jisung decides then and there that maybe, just for today, this is better than sleeping in. 

The two of them jog in silence until Hyunjin slows down. Before Jisung can ask what happened, Hyunjin laughs next to him. “Aww, this is where we met!” he says and points to a lamppost  —  or, better put,  _ the  _ lamppost  —  that marked the beginning of their friendship (as well as Jisung’s forehead).

Making sure he’s as far away from it as possible when they jog past it, Jisung shudders. “Let’s not remember my disastrous past, shall we?” He half-heartedly complains.

Hyunjin playfully bumps his shoulder against Jisung’s in response. “So you’re saying it wasn’t worth getting me as a result of running into a lamppost?” 

Jisung doesn’t even have to think about it. “Nah, you’re totally worth it.”

* * *

The next time it happens, they’re all together at Chan’s apartment studying for their upcoming exams. 

Jisung and his friends have this tradition in which they all go to Chan’s apartment a week before their exams are set to start and spend the entire day there studying as hard as they can. They lovingly call it Emotional Support Pity Party (ESPP for short), where they cope with the possibility of imminent academic doom by being around friends who feel the same way. And it works! They go on for uninterrupted hours, absorbing every bit of knowledge they possibly can.

That is until one of them eventually breaks.

“Guys, that’s it. I’m fucking  _ done _ . If I read another word of Freud talking about dicks I’m going crazy,” Jeongin says and pointedly shuts the textbook he was reading. “Like what the fuck is his obsession with penises? And the fact that he uses the word  _ phallus _ …”

Knowing that he isn’t done yet, they wait.

“And what the fuck even is _ polymorphous perversity _ , I’ll fucking kill it,” he cries out and drops his head to the table with a low thud. “I didn’t sign up for  _ that  _ when I decided to study Psychology,” he finishes, voice muffled. 

Felix pats him on the back comfortingly, “There you go, mate.”

“Honestly, fuck Freud,” Jisung says in sympathy for his wounded friend. 

“Fuck Freud!” Everyone echoes back. 

See? Emotional Support Pity Party!

“We should probably take a break,” Chan suggests. “I think we kinda lost track of time today. I’ll order us pizza.” Jeongin beams at him like he’s a national hero.

It’s only then that Jisung realizes it’s already dark outside. He’s more than happy to see he’s managed to go through most of the readings required, which would leave him with plenty of time to focus on the creative and practical stuff. Maybe academic doom will not come around this time. 

Soon enough, each of them has a slice of pizza in their hands, eating contentedly while watching some random drama on the television. 

“It’s still so weird to me sometimes to see us all together,” Seungmin unpromptedly muses out loud. Jisung finds it amusing how his friend normally gets contemplative after getting his stomach full. Philosophical debates are common in their friend group whenever Seungmin has eaten a full meal. “The fact that Hyunjin’s Cute Lamppost Guy was actually  _ our  _ Jisung? Absolutely crazy. The world’s way too small.”

The slice of pizza that was on its way to Jisung’s mouth is instantly dropped to the plate in his lap. He turns to Hyunjin, his mouth still open and his eyes wide. “Hold up, you thought I was cute?”

“To be fair, I didn’t know you at the time,” Hyunjin replies.

That makes Jisung frown. “Oh, so you’re saying I’m not cute now?”

He pointedly ignores Jeongin’s snickering remarks (“ _ Oooh, he called you ugly, hyung! _ ”).

Hyunjin only shrugs, not really looking back at Jisung. “I didn’t say that.”

_ Huh. _

Not knowing what to say to  _ that _ , and growing slightly irritated at his friends giving him odd looks, Jisung decides to do one of the things he does best: steer uncomfortable conversations to more pleasant directions. And thank god, he has just the right topic. “No, but you know what? I’m actually tired of only being seen as a  _ cute guy _ ,” he makes quotation marks with his fingers. “It’s never Jisung, the mysterious guy, or Jisung, the intense, intimidating dude. It’s always Jisung, the cute boy with the cheeks.”

“You’re as intimidating as a baby squirrel,” Minho points out unhelpfully.

“First of all, fuck you, hyung,” he says to Minho, who sweetly smiles at him. “And second of all, I’m ready to rebrand myself. Who’s with me?”

The silence that follows feels oppressive. 

“As much as I’m all for self-improvement, I don’t think what you’re going for is really you, buddy,” Chan offers, as diplomatic as always. 

“Yeah, man,” Felix agrees. “That’s not it.”

“How would you even be intimidating if you’re such a scaredy-cat?” Changbin asks.

Jisung can’t believe the amount of betrayal all around him. “I am  _ not _ ?”

Changbin clicks his tongue and smirks. “Every time we watch horror movies, even if they’re not scary at all, you sleep with your lights on.”

“SLANDER! You’re _defaming_ me right in front of my face!” 

Jeongin claps his hands in amusement. “Just accept it, hyung. You’re cute.”

Setting his long-forgotten pizza aside, Jisung crosses his arms in petulance and shrugs in a nonchalant manner. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you guys, then.”

“Oh, so I got just the perfect opportunity for you to prove yourself as a changed man,” Hyunjin says, and Jisung’s immediately interested. Of course, Hyunjin’s gonna be the one to support him! “Come with me to that drive-in movie theater Jeongin gave me the tickets to. It’s gonna be next Friday, and I still don’t have my plus-one. They’ll be playing the  _ Scream  _ movies.” Hyunjin wiggles his eyebrows.

The smile on Jisung’s face quickly turns sour. He should have seen this coming.

Once again, the integrity of his pride is under attack.

Good thing Jisung’s always had a penchant for self-sabotaging.

* * *

They only realize they overlooked a crucial detail minutes before they’re set to leave. 

“Dude, neither of us has a car,” Jisung turns in the wheelie chair, facing Hyunjin with urgency in his eyes. They’re currently in Hyunjin’s room, Jisung sitting by his study table, and Hyunjin lying on his bed, neither of them particularly doing anything. 

Jisung watches as realization dawns on Hyunjin’s face. “Oh my god, we don’t have a car,” he repeats, his eyes wide. “How are we going to a drive-in movie theater without a fucking car? And how did we even miss that?” Hyunjin cries out.

“I mean, I could ask Chan-hyung if we can use his car,” Jisung offers. Chan, as the honorary Real Adult in their friend group, is the only one to have a car  —  which they all appropriate themselves of whenever they can. 

Hyunjin shakes his head. “Not gonna work. He told me he’s going out with some friends tonight, or something.

Jisung sinks into the chair. “Well, that for sure puts a damper on things. I was actually excited to go.”

And despite everything, Jisung was truly looking forward to it. The first  _ Scream _ movie is the only one in the franchise that he’s watched before, and he has to admit it isn’t really that scary. Sure, at the time he first watched it, he spent a week sleeping with his older brother and shaking with fear every time he heard a phone ringing, but except for that, it was all fine! And now he’s not a kid anymore. He had even spent the night before googling random facts about the movie just so he could annoy Hyunjin throughout the entire thing. 

“I mean, we can still go next week,” Hyunjin starts, starfishing in his bed and looking at the ceiling. “They’ll be playing the second one next. The ticket is valid for any day of your choice.”

“But only if you want to, okay?” Hyunjin adds before Jisung can say anything. Then he gets up and sits in a cross-legged position. “I’ve been thinking about it, and it was actually kinda shitty of me to be dragging you into doing things you weren’t comfortable with in the first place. The truth is that I wanted to… I don’t know, spend more time with you? I wanted to do more things with you, but I didn’t really know how to ask you. So that’s where the tripping came from,” he lets out a weak chuckle and plays with the loose threads on the knee of his jeans. “I know this is silly, but I just don’t want you to think I’m forcing you, or anything. You can always tell me to fuck off, alright?”

Sitting fully upright now, Jisung stares at Hyunjin  — who’s looking at anything  _ but  _ Jisung — in stunned silence for a moment. He has to agree with Hyunjin, this  _ is  _ kinda silly, silly enough that Jisung wants to simply laugh it off and brush it away. But seeing that Hyunjin seems genuinely distraught by this whole thing, Jisung takes his time and thinks of what the best approach is. “You didn’t  _ force  _ me to do anything,” he starts, softly smiling at his friend when he finally looks at him. “And I’m kinda offended at you thinking I can be easily swayed like this. I’m a man of integrity, Hwang Hyunjin!”

Luckily, his attempt at light-weighted humor seems to have worked, considering Hyunjin now looks annoyed, as opposed to him looking like he was about to cry only seconds ago. “Please. I know damn well your big-ass pride compensates for your lack of height.”

“There you are,” he grins in victory, mentally patting himself on the back. “ _ And _ ,” he scurries closer to Hyunjin, “have you perhaps considered that I want to spend more time with you as well? That I like being around you?”

“I mean, yeah, but I don’t know… I just thought you needed a bigger reason to go out of your way to be with me.”

For such a smart person, Hyunjin for sure can be pretty dense sometimes, Jisung thinks. “Just being with you is enough.”

The smile Hyunjin gives him makes a warmth spread through his chest, a feeling that he has no other option, but to get used to, these days. “Okay, so since you seem very desperate to be around me,” he says and pats the space next to him on the bed, “come here. I have something to show you.”

Abandoning his chair, Jisung quickly does as told. Hyunjin’s attention is fully on his phone as he seems to be looking for something.

“I was going to propose we did something that’s more  _ you  _ after we went to the movie. Almost like a peace offering,” he says, eyes still trained on the screen in front of him. “So I’ve been searching for a nice place to take you, and I found this café,” Hyunjin turns his phone to him and scrolls down the feed of the café’s Instagram account, giving him time to look at the pictures. 

As he takes in the warm, comfortable atmosphere of the café, alongside the mouth-watering food displayed in the photos, he concludes it seems like the kind of place he’d love to go to.

“They have a live band playing weirdly specific themed songs every Friday. And look,” Hyunjin points at a photo, “it’s not very crowded. I noticed you sometimes get a bit uncomfortable at The Maze when it gets too full, so I thought maybe this was a good alternative. And I’ve read in the reviews that their cheesecake is especially delicious. What do you say?”

Jisung feels inexplicably touched by the notion that Hyunjin’s been thinking of him, planning things for them while considering his preferences. He briefly wonders if the warm feeling in his chest ever goes away when he’s around Hyunjin.

“I was sold when you said cheesecake,” Jisung says as an answer. Hyunjin grins at him.

“Great! We should probably get going, then.” Hyunjin gets up from the bed and stretches his arms over his head. Jisung pretends he doesn’t take notice of the sliver of skin that’s revealed when his shirt rides up for a moment. “Oh! And guess what theme the live band will be playing tonight.”

“Uhh, obscure music from the 80s?”

“Iconic anime openings,” Hyunjin says. “Figured it’d be a perfect fit for a weeb like you.”

Jisung might not know exactly what the funny feeling in his stomach or the tightening in his chest means, might even be actively trying  _ not  _ to decipher this, knowing he’s still not ready to deal with whatever it is; but when he sees Hyunjin standing in front of him like he’s the personification of the sun, embracing Jisung in his warmth and comfort without asking for anything in return, he feels like it’s enough for now. He will let the complicated thoughts for a later time. 

They’re going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


End file.
